Cheesiest Blog Post Ever

There have been so many times where I come up with an idea in the moment to write or blog about something, make a note of it, and then try to write about it later.  But it never works.  Sure I could spew out a few paragraphs or thoughts about it.  But it’s not really from the heart the any longer.  I’ve already embraced it and moved on…like a week ago.  Why bother writing about it?  It’s not like I’m writing an autobiography about that time I lived in a cave in India.  My life consists mainly of movies and headbands and maybe the occasional inspirational quote that I read that day.

I think the reason why I don’t really do a good job with writing about something that happened to me a day or two ago, is because recent memories are best left alone.  Well not completely left alone- I mean yes please talk about your horrendous visit to the dentist last week to everybody and anybody who wants to listen.  But don’t force yourself to find an answer about why this event happened to you.  You can’t appreciate its actual value so soon after its expired.

Every now and then I revisit photo albums or mementos.  Not planning on it this time I ended up doing just that.  I’m not huge on looking at photo albums or really anything sentimental to be honest.  But I’ve been trying to get organized/get my life in order recently to make my current living space livable.  Under my bed I have about 8 different boxes, well not about there are actually legitimately 8 boxes, filled with countless amounts of mementos throughout the years- photos, birthday cards, diplomas, concert stubs, and so on.  I thought okay let me organize all this- moment by moment, year by year, consolidate the boxes, label shit, throw out what’s not essential and what really didn’t need to be saved or remembered.  Some photos I was like wow I never realized how good-looking I was at the age of 14.  Some photos I was like wow I never realized how bad looking I was at the age of 14.  Okay did I really need to save an essay I wrote in 7^th grade?  Why is this photo not protected in its corresponding photo album?  Why do I have a $2 bill?  Shouldn’t I be displaying this pottery I made?  Do I need every single report card? I guess I really didn’t do that well on my SATs.  Should I burn these photos of me with braces?  Wow I should really consider cutting my hair short again.

I finally just came to the conclusion- memories aren’t really made to be organized or disposed of.  When I sit back and think what have I really done with my life, do I have to look for the answer in a labeled chart perfectly defined that's completely organized and sterile? Would I even want to? Unless you covered in clown makeup, wearing an inappropriate or ill-fitting outfit-I wouldn’t worry about your current state of affairs.  There are some things you just can’t make sense of. 

And now that I'm thinking about it, this blog post makes me think it's comparable to that ridiculously lame and overused quote: Sing like no one is listening, LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT, blah blah blah, I'm seriously going to drown myself in vodka, and rethink my blog posts from here on out.  Oh my god.  I am now horrified. 

Hoarding Problems: A Day in the Life of a Fashionista

I never really realized that I had a hoarding problem until very recently.  Like an hour ago recently.  Yet I never feel like I have enough stuff.  Then I realize I have an overwhelming amount of stuff and it makes me want to collapse.  Like how much money has been spent on all this crap.  I could be driving a Range Rover or buying a plane ticket to Asia or something.

It is soooo much easier to just ignore the excess baggage (literal baggage) than to deal with organizing it.  Its like I don’t want to develop some type of OCD problem but this insane amount of crap is making me insane.  So it’s either organize it or throw it all out.  Most of it I wont really miss or even remember that I have.  But some of it I need- like toothpaste and shampoo need.  Therefore I am forced to go through it, if I want to start to be able to walk without bumping into something.

Hours later (or minutes later I'm not really sure) I feel a little more free than initially, but I still feel pretty stressed and pretty grossed out.  Actually I feel more stressed out and unorganized than before I started.  Like, maybe I should go through everything again- maybe I didn’t throw out enough.  Maybe now I’m throwing out too much.  Did I even get anywhere?  There’s still so much.  Now I know why people wear the same thing everyday and travel with a backpack.  Actually why do I feel like I wear the same thing everyday?  And why do I feel like I don’t have anything? 

Okay, okay.  Let me go through this and ask myself.  Do I need this right now and will I miss it in 10 years? I don’t know, printed sweatshirts might be a fashion statement in 10 years.  Actually in 10 years I’ll probably just buy a new one. 

Challenge: every time you buy something- throw one thing out (Unless it’s some type of storage container).  Well don't throw everything out.  Donate some of it. You won’t even remember it existed.

The Commute

I haven’t blogged in awhile because I’ve been crazy busy part of the time and crazy tired the other part of the time.  I literally went to sleep at 8p.m. last night, daylight still blazing, sun not yet set, lights still on.  Planning to wake up at like 2 a.m. and watching a few more episodes of Orange is the New Black and before I passed out again.  But instead woke up at 10:45 a.m. confused as to what day it was and why it was daylight if it 11p.m.  I was like kind of proud of myself for sleeping to that level but also like kind of horrified by myself for sleeping to that insane level.  Not to mention completely dazed throughout the day from too much sleep.  Well you win some you lose some.

Anyway.  Here’s a glimpse into the what’s been taking up 2 hours of my workweek:

The wakeup

-6am.: Alarm goes off. I have 10 more minutes. 

-6:10am: I have 10 more minutes. 

-6:20am: I don’t need to shower 

-6:30am:  I don’t need to eat breakast. 

-6:35am: I don’t need coffee. 

-6:40am: ugh why do I even have to work.  This is so uncivilized.  I’m going back to sleep as soon as I get home tonight.

6:45am: ok let me just get up because my alarm is starting to annoy me. 

6:50am: brush teeth. 

6:55am: omg I really should have waken up earlier.  I need to go to bed earlier.

7:05am: I’m  going to be so so so late.  I really hope there’s not traffic.

En route.

-I have enough gas to get there. 

-Omg how many trucks and school buses can I be stuck behind. 

-Red light.  Now would be great time to put on some makeup. 

-Is that a cop car or an abandoned car?  It’s an abandoned car. 

-Jeez why are there so many abandoned cars?  And where are all of these white shirts coming from?  Is that a thing that everyone just leaves in their car in case they may have to leave it on the side of the road because clearly AAA isn’t a thing anymore?

En route Continued

-Speed limit increases 10 miles.  Speed up 15 miles.

-Fines doubled zone.  I think that sign is the deterrent so I doubt anyone is pulling me over here.  Or maybe there are?  And there never seems to be a sign notifying drivers of when this zone ends. 

-Speed limit now decreases 10 miles. 

-I really should have gotten gas.  I could still make it.

-Okay now I just have no idea what the speed limit is so I’m just going to assume I can just plead ignorance in the event I get pulled over for speeding. 

-Where is all this tire debris coming from that’s on the side of the road?

 -Is that a cop car or just a regular car?  Whatever I’m exiting. 

-God I really should have left earlier. 

-I really should have gotten gas, I am not going to make it. 

-Ah where’s a gas station???! 

-Google maps- type in gas. 

-I’m not going to make it to the gas station.  God my life is a mess.  I’m going to run out of gas.  And I don’t have a white t-shirt in case I have to hitchhike.

-Does AAA respond to “I ran out of gas, despite the “low fuel” signal I’ve been getting for the last 20 minutes?”

-Arrived.  Yes I made it!

-Get gas/Apply more makeup/Check twitter. Random person tweets “I hate Mondays. And I hate my job” Me- “Oh I’m sorry I was unaware that your random thoughts were the revolving factor around my existence.” 

Back en route.

-I hate the radio.  I can only hear the same 3 songs within an hour so many times before I may actually rip my radio and my ears out of this car.

-  I hate my iPhone music selection.  I need spotify. 

-Arrived.

-If anyone asks why I look like I’m dying because I overslept- I’m sick and will miraculously recover once I finish my makeup and get coffee.

Moral:  Wake up earlier. 

Thoughts of a Quarter Life Millennial

I’m kind of having that crisis in life when you realize you’re almost halfway to 50.  I mean 50 is like the new 40 or whatever, so whatever.  But like shit, aren’t I supposed to own a blender or a house or something of that nature?

Have a found the right hair color?  Is my face supposed to look like this?  So I’m like this tall for the rest of my life?  Am I satisfied with the formation of my personality thus far? Have I gotten to the point we’re I’m finally happy with my wardrobe?  Because now is the time when you start saving things for the rest of your life.  My grandma didn’t just buy all that jewelry a few years ago- she must have started accumulating that shit in her 20s. 

Man, am I going to have to start using anti-aging products?  I’m not really prepared for that type of investment or commitment for that matter.  I mean it’s not you it’s me.  Washing my face and brushing my teeth are really as much as I can take for the moment.  And especially with flossing, I don’t think I’m ready for such a serious relationship right now

Should I have some of my money in a CD?  Do they still even have CDs?  Shouldn’t they be called Blue Ray discs by now?  Do I even have any money left before my next paycheck? Do I know what a transmission does and more importantly can I fix it?

I’ve never knitted a sweater.  Actually I’ve never even sewed a button.  I’ve never gardened.  And, fuck, I haven’t been to Africa yet. 

Now that I’m thinking about it-when I thought about being 25- didn’t I feel like my refrigerator should be cooking for me?  And that I’d be 8 feet tall?  And live in a mansion?  And I'd be friends with the next president? And that I'd be traveling to the moon during harsh winters?

Conclusion- Age is just a really cool number. 

The Dream of Teeth and its Infamy

So I had a dream last night, a dream related to teeth.  Now anyone who’s anyone, who knows anything about dreams, know that teeth dreams are the ultimate bearer of bad news.  Not that I’m keeping a spreadsheet, but pretty much every single time I’ve had a tooth dream something bad has happened.  The level of horribleness varies from tooth dream to tooth dream, but something horrible does always happen. 

So as I go about my day, I’m just waiting for it.  What is this awful thing that is going to happen.  I carefully back out of my driveway avoiding any type of fender bender.  Go the speed limit.  Walk carefully.  Smile at everyone.  Oh there’s a dog maybe it’ll bite me.  Nope.  Go to the gym- maybe I’ll twist an ankle or something.  Nope.  Shower- maybe I’ll slip or have a really bad hair day.  Nope and nope. 

Time goes by and nothing has happened.  Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing out of the ordinary.  I’ve kind of forgotten about it by this point and kind of think wow I’m beyond paranoid.  But I mean there’s all these dream meanings and dream dictionaries- I can’t be wrong.  Then I get an automated text message from my dentist reminding me about a dentist appointment- which I need to reschedule.  And the mystery is solved.

Moral of this story:  Don’t worry about what hasn’t happened yet.  Because it may never happen.

Simplify

So every now and then I just want to write a completely self-deprecating blog post.  Usually on Sundays, because no offense to the Sunday freaks out there, Sundays totally suck (except for Sunday night TV, Sunday night TV is like a gift from God).  I'm not into having the pressure of trying to make the most of your last day off before the workweek starts, or the idea of family dinners that happen at 3pm (I'm Italian, I can say that).  But back to the point- sometimes I just want to go on and on about the woes and hardships of life.  Writing words that just break down my self esteem, make me feel sorry for myself, and then curl in a ball and hope I never have to get up.  But that’s just every now and then.

For the past few months I’ve been all about happiness and positive energy.  I've been unhappy for extended periods of time and I never want to feel that way again.  I never want anyone else to feel that way ever.  Do you really want to imagine your life next week and think this day is really going to suck.  No, and why should it?  You may not be able to control where you are in your life and what you’re currently doing with it, but you can control how you feel each second of each day. 

If I imagined my life 5 years ago as it is today, I would be horrified and disappointed.  But today, I’m happier than ever and completely satisfied with how it's all working out.  I’m not as judgmental.  I’m not as concerned of what other people think.  I don’t try to change what I can not change or wish things had worked out differently.  And I accept who I am and embrace it.  Sometimes I wish who I was could be more compatible with more members of society, but I can’t change it.  I wish I hated I clothes.  I wish I hated makeup.  I wish I liked gross things.  Or had a remote interest in the subject of science.  But without all that, it wouldn’t make me, me. 

Everything works out as its supposed to.  Everyone is the person they are for whatever reason.  It cant be reversed.  It shouldn’t be reversed.  I may want to change who I am at times.  Or where I am.  Or how I feel about certain issues.  Or how things happened.  Or didn’t happen.  But all that aside, think, “Is this moment, of this day, making me happy? And if it’s not, then how can I change it?” 

Without the hard times, you wouldn’t know how to be as great as the person you are today.  Or will be next year.  Or five years from now.  Simplify your mind.