Lightning Rods

Today I got hit by lightning.  Well.  Not just today.  Maybe a few days ago.  Well and today.  And maybe it wasn’t actually lightning but just a stronger word for the phrase “curve ball.”  And like I kind of knew it was coming.  But you can only prepare yourself for something so strong as lightning.  And you shouldn’t laugh.  You really shouldn’t laugh.  But you really want to laugh, because what the hell?  Did I enter some type of sci-fi novel or is this really happening?  Can I just look around for a moment and see that I’ve gotten hit by lightning from multiple facets in the sky? 

And worse of all, now I’m hot.  Like literally sweating.  And I mean literally.  There is nothing worse than a heat stroke when its 40 degrees.  It’s embarrassing and its uncomfortable and most of all its hot.  Where is a fan and why isn’t it nearby?  And now my head hurts because I’m hot.

And now another lightning rod is literally pulling a limb apart from my body.  And I’d try and hold onto it, but another limb is being pulled from another direction and I don’t know which one to grab first.  And then thank god, thunder comes and saves me, so I can grab both of my limbs; but then it whisks me off to another natural disaster.  Wait another natural disaster?  Am I qualified to be standing in this type of an environment?  Can’t I complete some type of crash course first?  And now I’m supposed to be the one with a solution?  I’m not that smart. 

Finally I escape.  And someone asks me about it.  I recap.  I’m not really good at detailed recaps.  What types of words do “I got hit by lightning!” justice? So they respond “Oh.” Because what can one really say other than “oh.”  And then they add, :Well at least you haven’t been bored.”  And I think, “Oh.  No at least I haven’t been bored.”  And suddenly the thought of electricity being jolted through my body doesn’t seem so bad.