Thoughts of a Quarter Life Millennial

I’m kind of having that crisis in life when you realize you’re almost halfway to 50.  I mean 50 is like the new 40 or whatever, so whatever.  But like shit, aren’t I supposed to own a blender or a house or something of that nature?

Have a found the right hair color?  Is my face supposed to look like this?  So I’m like this tall for the rest of my life?  Am I satisfied with the formation of my personality thus far? Have I gotten to the point we’re I’m finally happy with my wardrobe?  Because now is the time when you start saving things for the rest of your life.  My grandma didn’t just buy all that jewelry a few years ago- she must have started accumulating that shit in her 20s. 

Man, am I going to have to start using anti-aging products?  I’m not really prepared for that type of investment or commitment for that matter.  I mean it’s not you it’s me.  Washing my face and brushing my teeth are really as much as I can take for the moment.  And especially with flossing, I don’t think I’m ready for such a serious relationship right now

Should I have some of my money in a CD?  Do they still even have CDs?  Shouldn’t they be called Blue Ray discs by now?  Do I even have any money left before my next paycheck? Do I know what a transmission does and more importantly can I fix it?

I’ve never knitted a sweater.  Actually I’ve never even sewed a button.  I’ve never gardened.  And, fuck, I haven’t been to Africa yet. 

Now that I’m thinking about it-when I thought about being 25- didn’t I feel like my refrigerator should be cooking for me?  And that I’d be 8 feet tall?  And live in a mansion?  And I'd be friends with the next president? And that I'd be traveling to the moon during harsh winters?

Conclusion- Age is just a really cool number.