The Commute

I haven’t blogged in awhile because I’ve been crazy busy part of the time and crazy tired the other part of the time.  I literally went to sleep at 8p.m. last night, daylight still blazing, sun not yet set, lights still on.  Planning to wake up at like 2 a.m. and watching a few more episodes of Orange is the New Black and before I passed out again.  But instead woke up at 10:45 a.m. confused as to what day it was and why it was daylight if it 11p.m.  I was like kind of proud of myself for sleeping to that level but also like kind of horrified by myself for sleeping to that insane level.  Not to mention completely dazed throughout the day from too much sleep.  Well you win some you lose some.

Anyway.  Here’s a glimpse into the what’s been taking up 2 hours of my workweek:

The wakeup

-6am.: Alarm goes off. I have 10 more minutes. 

-6:10am: I have 10 more minutes. 

-6:20am: I don’t need to shower 

-6:30am:  I don’t need to eat breakast. 

-6:35am: I don’t need coffee. 

-6:40am: ugh why do I even have to work.  This is so uncivilized.  I’m going back to sleep as soon as I get home tonight.

6:45am: ok let me just get up because my alarm is starting to annoy me. 

6:50am: brush teeth. 

6:55am: omg I really should have waken up earlier.  I need to go to bed earlier.

7:05am: I’m  going to be so so so late.  I really hope there’s not traffic.

En route.

-I have enough gas to get there. 

-Omg how many trucks and school buses can I be stuck behind. 

-Red light.  Now would be great time to put on some makeup. 

-Is that a cop car or an abandoned car?  It’s an abandoned car. 

-Jeez why are there so many abandoned cars?  And where are all of these white shirts coming from?  Is that a thing that everyone just leaves in their car in case they may have to leave it on the side of the road because clearly AAA isn’t a thing anymore?

En route Continued

-Speed limit increases 10 miles.  Speed up 15 miles.

-Fines doubled zone.  I think that sign is the deterrent so I doubt anyone is pulling me over here.  Or maybe there are?  And there never seems to be a sign notifying drivers of when this zone ends. 

-Speed limit now decreases 10 miles. 

-I really should have gotten gas.  I could still make it.

-Okay now I just have no idea what the speed limit is so I’m just going to assume I can just plead ignorance in the event I get pulled over for speeding. 

-Where is all this tire debris coming from that’s on the side of the road?

 -Is that a cop car or just a regular car?  Whatever I’m exiting. 

-God I really should have left earlier. 

-I really should have gotten gas, I am not going to make it. 

-Ah where’s a gas station???! 

-Google maps- type in gas. 

-I’m not going to make it to the gas station.  God my life is a mess.  I’m going to run out of gas.  And I don’t have a white t-shirt in case I have to hitchhike.

-Does AAA respond to “I ran out of gas, despite the “low fuel” signal I’ve been getting for the last 20 minutes?”

-Arrived.  Yes I made it!

-Get gas/Apply more makeup/Check twitter. Random person tweets “I hate Mondays. And I hate my job” Me- “Oh I’m sorry I was unaware that your random thoughts were the revolving factor around my existence.” 

Back en route.

-I hate the radio.  I can only hear the same 3 songs within an hour so many times before I may actually rip my radio and my ears out of this car.

-  I hate my iPhone music selection.  I need spotify. 

-Arrived.

-If anyone asks why I look like I’m dying because I overslept- I’m sick and will miraculously recover once I finish my makeup and get coffee.

Moral:  Wake up earlier.