Leaving it on the Line, Living without Regrets

This blog post I'm leaving it all on the line.  Whatever that actually means.  It really doesn’t mean anything.  It’s really just an intro for this is what I’m about to say and I couldn’t come up with a sassy introduction.

I should be sleeping right now.  I’m going to be so so tired tomorrow but I’d stay awake all over again to say what I want to say: Live without looking back.

Over the past few years, I’ve soared and then I’ve failed over and over and over (...and over) again.  But I would fail and fail and then try and try all over again and again. 

I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve lied and lied and lied.  Took more than I could take, snapped, recovered, and took more than I could take again.  But I’d do it all over and over and over again. 

I said a few things I shouldn’t have said.  But I’d say it all over and over and over again.  I blew you off over and over and over and over and over again.  And I’d do it all over and over and over again.

I shouldn’t have sparked that flame.  But I did.  And I’ll keep doing it over and over again.

I’ve spoken just to speak and I've listened without listening.  I chose him over her.  I chose her or him. And I'd do it all over and over again.

I’ve picked people up, I’ve pushed them down.  Been smothered, praying for a moment of loneliness.  Been lonely, praying to be smothered.

I’ve ignored, I’ve been ignored.  I’ve put my misery on a pedestal and put someone else's on a backbunner.   I’ve ignored my own problems, and I’ve glorified someone else's problems.  It may not be right or wrong, or smart or dumb, but I’d do it the same way all over and over again.

I’d love you or like you over and over and over again.  And then I’d hate you all over and over and over again.  I’d let you break my heart all over and over again. I’d be lonely all over and over again.  Then I’d get over you all over again. 

I’d be depressed all over again.  And I’d get messed up all over again. 

I should have said yes.  Would have said no.   Could have done this.  Would have done that.  Blah blah blah.  What could have been, could have been, should have been, would have been,... but didn’t.  So I’d do it the same way.  Over and over and over again.  I think I should just rename this blog over and over for the sake of saying over a few more times.  

Sometimes I suck and sometimes I’m great.  Sometimes I’m wrong and pretend to be right.  Sometimes I’m right and pretend to be wrong.  We always end up where we’re meant to be.  And become who we’re meant to be, even if you have to be a shitty person, a martyr, a hero, or a saint part of the time.

Live without regrets and walk forward like a superstar.