Things I've Really Wanted to Tweet/Post About This Past Week

So I'm trying really hard to be more private/not publish my random thoughts throughout the day due to boredom, frustration, or excitement.

So instead I'm consolidating them all from the past week in this blog post.  Because putting my thoughts on a different forum is progress on being more private.  Enjoy!

1. Know my favorite color, know my soul
2. I can't sleep
3. Mod About You...in Fiji
4. I've officially watched 100 episodes of Lost.  I am so obsessed
5. I really want to go to a legitimate Indian restaurant...although they don't eat meat right?
6. I've been really obsessed with eye color lately
7.  Anyone else get really creeped out by people with grey hair and black eyebrows?
8. I've made so many different to do lists this week, I'm getting both stressed out and confused instead of organized
9. I just spent 30 minutes curling my hair, only for it to be pin straight 10 minutes later.  I don't even have straight hair #hairproblems
10. It's snowing!
11. Eyebrows really make or break a person
12. Josh Holloway from Lost is so hot
13. Hurley <3
14. I thought football only happened on Sundays?
15. The amount of time I spend looking at lipstick colors on the Internet is insane
16. I hate when people are passive aggressive towards you through social media.  Get a life.
17. I need coffee and my own personal barista to follow me around everywhere
18. Ew jury duty.  I feel both annoyed and old
19. Please stop asking me if my hair color is my natural hair color
20. The most productive thing I did all day was shower #truth
21. It's freezing...wahh
22. I can never say the words "voluminous" or "philosophical" out loud without getting tongue-tied and then just failing.

There you have it- my super intellectual and pointless thoughts from the past 7 days.  I'm going to have to start writing these tidbits of info in a journal.

New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions are so lame.  They’re just like a sure way to experience failure immediately into another year.  Why do you need a specific day of the year to try and become a better person?  And seriously, you can’t just become a different person overnight because the year on the calendar changed.  Let’s get real, you’re not going to become an Olympic athlete or read any more books than you want to read.  And by "you" I'm really talking about "me."

So initially my New Year’s resolution was not to make any resolutions, because it’s stupid and unrealistic and its not second grade or a spiritual journey to India..  But considering I live each moment of my life by a To Do List, that sadly includes showering, brushing my teeth, and drinking coffee each day- I was destined to make a few.

So here are my resolutions:

1.     Put more effort into grooming myself.  I feel like the Kardashians are constantly beautifying themselves, how can you not feel like you’re just not clean enough? And to clarify- I shower and brush my teeth everyday- I’m not gross.  But I should totally be carrying floss with me everywhere, breath mints after I eat or drink anything.  Cutting up fruit and making a facial from scratch.  Using sunscreen even when its raining out because you can never be too safe.  Using anti-aging products now, because it’s never too early and botox is gross. 

2.     Be more private.  Do I really need to document every moment and emotion of my life on social media for people in far away lands to see? No.  Instagramming to take photos of my stuff is completely acceptable.  Other than that- I’ll stick to text messaging for communication.  It’s a start.

3.     Do something other than watch TV on my days off from work.  While sitting at home, recuperating, and catching up on my TV addiction sounds more than great- it’s kind of lame for a 24 year old.  I mean paying $15 to see a movie or going to a bar to drink a drink instead of sitting on my couch drinking the same drink doesn't sound that appealing- but I’m not 80 yet.  Get a grip.

So that’s what I plan on doing in 2014- flossing more, tweeting less, and going to the movies.  And I actually had to think about that.  Cheers to 2014 it sounds amazing already.  And yes flossing is more important to me than “finding myself” or “cutting out toxic people from my life” because hello I’m 24, I’ve already “found myself” and who has the energy to even care about anyone being toxic or not- I have hair to brush and hands to moisturize.

Thanksgiving: What I'm Thankful For...(But Honestly)

I’ve never really gotten too excited for Thanksgiving.  Frankly it’s boring- you eat, watch TV, and wish it was Christmas instead.  I mean yes, sure, it’s a time to be thankful for all the things in your life, blah blah blah.  I mean I'm off from work, I'm thankful for that little vacation. But randomly stating what your thankful for out loud doesn’t really make you more appreciative.  I mean if you live in the same house all your life, you can say your thankful for it, but do you really know anything else? 

Well this week is when social media and television force you to think about all the things your thankful for.  I mean I guess the whole point of the holiday is to think of one thing, even if it is generic.  I mean people say things like "Family" or "Peace."  It's like okay could you maybe expand on that? Or can you say your thankful for something honest?  Even if it is something as superficial as a good hair day.  I mean at least that’s more believable than you being thankful for “Hope” or “Faith” or “Love.”  You’re not a hallmark card, what you’re thankful for doesn’t have to be a one-word summary.  

Sure no one is going to admit to being thankful for their new iPad or having more money in their bank account, especially after someone just told a beautiful sob story about their dog returning home after weeks of being lost in the wild.  But honestly I have no shame- a small part of me is thankful for my iPad.  I mean yes lessening the amount of people suffering from World Hunger is wonderful but my brain isn’t that caring on a daily basis.  Unless I’m watching a movie like Hotel Rwanda, I kind of forget about these things from day to day.  I mean I still have to live my life each day.  I can't spend every hour and every holiday feeling sorry for a cause that I haven’t even tried to do anything about and then feeling guilty, and then the emotions go so on and so on, until it comes full circle to me being thankful for my iPad on a deeper level because some people don’t even get the opportunity to use a telephone.  And now my brain hurts and I need a nap.

So anyway.  A long list can be written about what I’m thankful for this year, both materialistic and non-materialistic, conceptual and non-conceptual, reality and dreams, and so on.  But who really cares about those things aside from me.

Truthfully I'm thankful for the biggest lesson I learned this year.  I don’t have to be anything or be anyone for anyone else.  It’s not my role or my job in life to lift someone else up or try to understand each and every person.  Sure I can be so many things for so many people, but I don’t want to and I don’t have to.  I'm not a slave to the human mind and its well-being.  Just be who you want to be and do what you want to do.  If someone doesn’t like it- it’s not your problem.

Aside from that- I’m also seriously thankful that the last season of Mad Men got split into two seasons.  And that the next Presidential Election doesn't start for a few more years, therefore I don’t have to hear about everyone else's political views nonstop.  Let’s be real, I don’t even know who’s running and I already know who I’m voting for.  

Evolution is a Hard Word to Spell

So I was going to repost one of my old blog posts, and then I read through them and was like ehh I've moved on.  It's like looking at an old yearbook...cute but glad its over.  I find that if something ends, even if you didn't want it to, - it's a sign its time to move on and get with the times.  I mean if you're not willing to evolve it's a sign you're stuck in your ways and your old.  Or getting old.  Not to be confused with being stubborn, which frankly I don't think is a bad quality to have.  It's like look at those people who thought the Internet was stupid or unnecessary, or people who didn't need or want a cell phone because they would just rather communicate by a traveling messenger like they did in the year 700 because why fix something that isn't broken?  And let's not get started on people who were for or against the T.V.

Why is turning something that's good into something that's great so hard for people to understand?

I remember when I was 15 or 16 I desperately wanted a Gucci purse and had dreams of which one I would buy.  Well have my parents buy because let's be real, even if I did actually work (which I didn't), how could I possibly afford a Gucci purse?  Well it's great I never bought it because now I would not be caught dead being a cheesey walking billboard for Gucci with that print.  It's like 2 grand to simply make a statement- My purse is Gucci, it cost $1900, and I'm now eating canned soup everyday because I sold my soul to buy it.  Whatever I would have picked out then and would swear I would use forever, I would probably hate now and be attempting to sell it on eBay.

I also remember desperately wanting to go on this 5 week Study Abroad session in South America.  On a cruise ship.  Learning about cruises.  I was completely willing to take out loans and had dreams of instantly joining the work force after I graduated to pay them back.  Well thank god that didn't happen because I didn't join the workforce, I went back to school for something actually meaningful to my life, and took out loans to finance that.  Would I still take a vacation to South America?  Yes, but it doesn't have to cost 10 grand and last for 5 weeks, and most importantly does not have to involve education or occur on a cruise.  I'd rather not pay to sleep in a floating room the size of a jail cell.

I also remember being addicted to a lipstick color.  If I could have dyed my lips that color I would have been in heaven.  Then it got discontinued and I cried.  And now I look back at pictures of myself and I'm like thank god that got discontinued because it looked horrible.

And then it goes beyond material items and applies to people.  You don't want to move somewhere or start something or you're upset something didn't work out or you don't want to leave the people you know.  Then 5 years later you meet better people and are like what the hell was I thinking?  Thank god for Fate because my judgement was way off.

The point is- don't be afraid to evolve into something better.  Look back with nostalgia but be happy you're moving forward.  If something disappears unexpectedly, take it as Fate doing you a serious favor.

My Hair Story

Set the scene.  Hair Salon.  Walk in.  Sit down.  I want my hair to be darker but still blonde.  Are you sure?  Yes.  Okay.

3.5 hours later.  Yes, 3.5 hours later and a ridiculous amount of money paid, my hair is glowing gold.  Or orange.  Or blonde.  I don’t know.  If I could break something and scream while not looking like a psycho I totally would right now.  I say, "no, this is not what I wanted." (Was I just mean?  I'm never intentionally mean).  Response?  "I think you’re just being picky, it looks great."

Come home.  Mom: It’s not great, but I’ve seen worse.  You have?  When?  Where was I?  Um humiliated for my past self.  Moving on.  Dad: Your hair looks good, a little orange but good.  How can you use orange and good in the same sentence?  Friend 1: Is that an actual hair color?  Friend 2: It’s bright.  Me: it’s hideous. 

Day 2:  I want it darker and toned down.  "Are you sure you’re going to like it dark?"  "Yes, dark, dark, just get this shit out of my hair.  Did you hear me clearly? I said darker" Okay, if you’re sure.  As I’m sitting in the chair I see someone with glowing platinum blonde hair and a fake tan, and I’m like ew, what do you think, you’re a pageant queen from Texas auditioning to be a country singer?  Vom.  Some people are blonde to just be blonde.

2.5 hours later.  Yes, 2.5 hours.  It’s kind of dark?  No, wait I think I like it.  I like it.  I love it.  I’m obsessed with it.  Wait is it brown?  Or blonde?  I can’t tell.  I don’t know maybe I don’t like it?  Maybe I hate it.  I feel like I’m either going to have a meltdown or hit euphoria.  Maybe it was me, not my hairdresser.  No it was totally him.  Totally him.  But then why am I about to have a breakdown over my hair color?

I mean, yes I’m into clothes and makeup and other material items, but I’m not so vain that I forget about the bigger problems in the world.  I mean I think I'm against Botox. Who throws a tantrum over their hair?  Get a life.  Maybe I should watch that true life episode again where the girl loses all of her hair.  That was pretty traumatic, might make me feel better. 

Then I think, am I really freaking out over my hair or is it something deeper?  No, it’s definitely just my hair.  I mean come on, your hair is like your entire appearance.  Right?  Even Frankenstein probably had a preference over his haircut.  It really makes or breaks you.

There’s a huge bug in my room, which I would normally freak out over, but right now I have no problem smashing it.  I could probably even smash a rat if I had to at the moment.  I mean who can deal with bugs right now?  I have bigger things to freak out about.   Can I join that blonde to just be blonde club?  Because I think I get it now and I think I like it better over there.  Can I stop rambling like a psycho and get a grip?

Then it turns into, “do I have any value if I’m a brunette?”  I mean maybe everyone needs that token blonde person in their life.  Its like I’m always just in between definitions.  Not 100% pretty but not 100% unfortunate looking.  My eyes aren’t blue, but they aren’t quite green.  I’m not smart enough to be super smart but I’m not dumb enough to be dumb.  Blonde was the only thing that was 100% me.  God are these really my thoughts?  Do other people think like this? 

I didn’t realize I was so shallow.  Or crazy for that matter.  But can you really be crazy when you acknowledge the crazy?  I don’t know.  How did my hair color turn into some ridiculous philosophical thought process about identity, and the world, and our roles in life, and starving children in Africa.  I mean if I don’t like it, I can dye it a different color, it's not that serious.

Moral:  Breathe.  Unless its cancer…slap yourself and get a grip.

The Declaration of...ME

So I came home late from work last night, exhausted as usual.  And Fever Pitch was on HBO… or it could have been Showtime or it could have been Starz.  Well the channel isn’t important.  So it was on, I’ve seen it before, it was cute, I’m tired and don’t have control over the remote, so I’m watching it.  There was one scene where Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore make fun of that typical, whiny, needy girl…and then they decide they're made for each other and then they start dating (and probably get married at the end, I don't know because I fell asleep).  Because she's that cool, hot, laid-back girl he's been looking for, and he's that guy who's ridiculously hot, but nerdy, and is broke.

Well in a way I was kind of offended because well I am that girl that they were making fun of.  I’m not that cool girl who can just hang with the guys and do guy things, etc, etc.  And I'm not going to change, so I'm owning all of those annoying, girly things in this post:

1.     I’m not that person who wakes up brushes their teeth and is just ready to go.  I will take a long time to get ready, I do like wearing makeup for no reason, and I do get annoyed if my nails chip.

2.     I don’t talk in a deep man voice.  My voice is nasally, it is high pitched and somewhat annoying, and I do end all of my sentences as if I’m asking a question, but really I’m making a statement.

3.      I giggle, I watch Bravo, and my favorite color is lavender.

4.     Beer IS gross and I would rather drink something pink with fruit in it.

5.     I would rather stay home and watch cute animal videos and Britney’s Spears on YouTube than go to <insert any team name> sports game with you.

6.     Bugs are scary and I will act like there’s a murderer in my home.

7.     I’m not that cool laid back girl who just can’t hang out with girls.  Most of my friends are girls and we do talk about boys.

8.     I hate making my own coffee, and my typical coffee order does consist of a nonfat iced latte preferably pumpkin spice or some other flavor that a man would never be caught dead drinking.

9.     I will get annoyed if someone spills something on my outfit or it starts raining and my hair gets ruined.

10. I do overuse the words/phrases "obsessed" "fabulous" "for sure" and "cute."

Moral: just be yourself and own it 100%.  Don’t change just because someone else makes fun of you or thinks its uncool.  I’m not going to drink drinks I don’t like or spend my free time doing activities I’m not that interested in.  Just be genuine :) 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year- Daylight Savings Time

This past weekend was the day of one of my favorite holidays of the year- Daylight Savings Time.  Don’t we all feel like there could be more hours in the day?  Could use just one extra hour of sleep, or one extra hour to do whatever it is we have to be doing.  Well thank lord for this holiday, its like Christmas, but instead of presents you get more time.  More hours to sleep? Is it my birthday?

I always thought it kind of sucked that it happens on a Sunday.  I mean can’t it be during the week when people actually have pressing things to do or places to be?  However I’m still not complaining because it’s a great day no matter what day it falls on.

Well this past Sunday I actually did have somewhere pressing to be.  Saturday night someone reminded me to make sure I change my clocks.  Um okay what is it 1980?  Hello, my phone does that automatically.  Along with my TV, and alarm clock.  Ok yes, there’s my watch, but I don’t actually really use that to tell the time.  I mean gosh do people just talk to talk these days?  Say something meaningful.

Well Sunday I woke up via my phone alarm clock, running late as usual.  Sleep or shower?  Sleep usually wins.  So of course I’m racing to get ready and get out of the house, hair completely styled, makeup completely done, and body completely caffeinated.  So I race to get in my car, definitely going to late, and I look at the clock.  It’s an hour behind my phone.  Wait what?  How does one even change the clock in their car?  And it’s not spring?  It would be an hour ahead of my phone?  What time is it and am I late or early to whenever I have to be?  Is my name my real name?  Is it actually raining when the sun is shining?  It was too early and I was so confused. 

It was one of those rare occasions where you actually need to emergency call someone to get an answer.  Well the only people I actually speak to on the phone anymore are my parents and my grandma.  Who calls anyone anymore?  Sometimes I feel like it’s kind of creepy.  Like couldn’t you just text me whatever you just had to say?

Well I didn’t have 15 minutes to wait for a response.  My usual phone call exclusives were not answering.  So I’m running through the list of people that I communicate with, trying to think of who the hell I can call on a Sunday morning that will actually answer?  If someone called me on a Sunday morning I’d just assume it was an accidental dial…the downside of touch screens.   

Well I gave it a go and called my friend.  She answered, and politely informed me that I was an hour early.  Somewhat relieve that was wasn’t late but also somewhat annoyed that I could’ve kept sleeping, I went home.

Moral of this story:  Find and appreciate more people that you can physically give a phone call to rather than an impersonal text message.  Technology is not always your friend.  Its not even a human being.  Send a card, write a note, dial a number.