New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions are so lame.  They’re just like a sure way to experience failure immediately into another year.  Why do you need a specific day of the year to try and become a better person?  And seriously, you can’t just become a different person overnight because the year on the calendar changed.  Let’s get real, you’re not going to become an Olympic athlete or read any more books than you want to read.  And by "you" I'm really talking about "me."

So initially my New Year’s resolution was not to make any resolutions, because it’s stupid and unrealistic and its not second grade or a spiritual journey to India..  But considering I live each moment of my life by a To Do List, that sadly includes showering, brushing my teeth, and drinking coffee each day- I was destined to make a few.

So here are my resolutions:

1.     Put more effort into grooming myself.  I feel like the Kardashians are constantly beautifying themselves, how can you not feel like you’re just not clean enough? And to clarify- I shower and brush my teeth everyday- I’m not gross.  But I should totally be carrying floss with me everywhere, breath mints after I eat or drink anything.  Cutting up fruit and making a facial from scratch.  Using sunscreen even when its raining out because you can never be too safe.  Using anti-aging products now, because it’s never too early and botox is gross. 

2.     Be more private.  Do I really need to document every moment and emotion of my life on social media for people in far away lands to see? No.  Instagramming to take photos of my stuff is completely acceptable.  Other than that- I’ll stick to text messaging for communication.  It’s a start.

3.     Do something other than watch TV on my days off from work.  While sitting at home, recuperating, and catching up on my TV addiction sounds more than great- it’s kind of lame for a 24 year old.  I mean paying $15 to see a movie or going to a bar to drink a drink instead of sitting on my couch drinking the same drink doesn't sound that appealing- but I’m not 80 yet.  Get a grip.

So that’s what I plan on doing in 2014- flossing more, tweeting less, and going to the movies.  And I actually had to think about that.  Cheers to 2014 it sounds amazing already.  And yes flossing is more important to me than “finding myself” or “cutting out toxic people from my life” because hello I’m 24, I’ve already “found myself” and who has the energy to even care about anyone being toxic or not- I have hair to brush and hands to moisturize.