How to Wake Up Fabulous By Using Fairly Obvious Tactics:

Not everyone can perfect the art of sleeping as much and as late as possible while also staying hygienic and also looking good.  I can’t maintain my easy going and free spirited, sometimes confused with being aloof but actually not really giving a shit, personality if I don’t get at least 9 hours.  Less than 7 hours or any type of sleep interruption and people are like wow I never saw this side of you before.  And I’m like damn right you haven’t, I’m tired.

Recently I got complimented on I don’t know…something….probably my hair or makeup.  I was like oh thanks I literally just rolled out of bed (because I literally did).  And the person was like wow I wish I looked like that when I roll out of bed.  Well my friends let me teach you…

1.     Preparation.  Do as much as possible the night before.  Shower.  Hair.  Outfit.  Nails.

2.     Essentials.  Think of what can be fixed throughout the day and what can’t.  You’re stuck with your hair, unless you carry a toothbrush your stuck with bad breath, and you’re stuck with your outfit.  That’s 3 things- everything else can be can be done on the go (Please always brush your teeth).

3.     Outfit.  When it comes to waking up late and it comes to your outfit- wear the exact same outfit you wore a few days ago.  It worked a few days ago, it can work today.  I had a doctor’s appt early in the morning and someone was like are you going to work or do you just dress like this everyday.  I was like oh its just a habit…I put no thought into it.  Because I didn’t   It fits, it looks good, its clean and it looks like I tried.

4.     Makeup.  I never do my makeup before I leave for anywhere if I’m running late.  Yes immediately upon walking in to work or wherever someone will instantly say omg are you okay?  I nod, look miserable, then go to the bathroom and do my makeup.  Then I walk out looking refreshed and no one remembers you walked in makeup-less/looking sickly.  No one is going to question what you’re doing in the bathroom and unless you’re in second grade no one will stop you from going to the bathroom.  And there’s not a subway or bus I haven’t done my makeup on, what else are you supposed to do on your daily transit ride? 50% of the people taking the subway are crazy so who cares if you whip out some lipstick and mascara.

5.     Coffee. Can be purchased and is essential to a good mood and a productive day.  Yes it’s more economical to make coffee and is highly suggested.  But that takes time.  Which takes away from sleep.  Espresso can be chugged and then you can move on with your day instantaneously- no time lost.

6.     Email and News.  I have an abnormal obsession with checking my email.  This can also be done throughout the day- or in the bathroom.  The only thing that ever needs to be checked asap is the weather.

7.     The Miscellaneous.  Washing your face.  Charging your phone.  Organization of documents.  Making lunch.  All can be done the night before or at your arrival destination.  Oh and always carry an umbrella because you just never know.

When in doubt if you’re really looking terrible just milk the fact that you look physically ill, fake a cough, and sip some tea.  At least if you look like crap you can try and fit the part.