It Can Always Get Worse

So I’m having a bad day.  But wait, let's stop right there, because aren’t I supposed to be having 100 days of happiness?  I don’t know that challenge is so ridiculous.  But when you think about it, do you really want to spend any day of your life unhappy? 

But its raining.  And not even normal raining.  It is like sci fi movie raining, ready to set  the tone for godzilla’s first attack.  I'm just waiting for a tornado to form and Noah's Ark to sail through with pairs of each animal.  

So as I drive an hour home in probably the worst rain I’ve ever driven in, I think, well it could be worse, right?  It can always be worse.  If you get stranded on a desert island it can always be worse.  So here’s how it could have gotten worse for me:

1.     I could not have a car.  I could be out in the rain waiting for the bus.  And then the bus could never come, and then I’d just be standing in the rain.  Alone.  And wet.  And then I'd realize my life really sucks because I have to take a bus everyday.

2.     I could get into a car accident.  Then I’d be stuck in the rain, and without transportation, and I’d have to wait for rescue and then deal with insurance agencies.  And then I wouldn't have a car.  And would have to take a bus (see above).

3.     I could get a flat tire.  And then have to wait for someone to come and change it, while I wait stranded in the rain.  And then realize, wow I'm not even capable of changing a flat tire?

4.     I could be driving through an actual river…oh wait it looks like this road is becoming a river.  Well at least I drove through the beginning part of the river forming.

5.     A zombie apocalypse could happen right at this moment.  And then I’d be fending for my life…in the rain.  I'd be soaked and grossed out.  

6.     My radio could stop working.  Then I’d just be driving in silence.  Or my radio could get stuck on one awful song (insert any Nickelback song), and I’d be forced to listen to that on repeat for an hour and a half.

7.     My windshield-wipers could stop working.  That would be an issue.

8.     I could not have a job.  Then I wouldn’t even be driving at all at this moment.  And that would totally suck.

9.     I could have just gotten my license a week ago and been horrified that this is what driving is like.

10. Okay I can’t think of a 10^th thing, this day seriously sucks and I could care less about this 100 days of happiness. 

So I get home.  Take two advil and take a very loooongg nap.  Then I wake up and turn on the news (accidentally) and OMG people are salvaging their belongings and being rescued by canoes.  Oh.  Oh. Oh? Yep… my day was not that bad in comparison.

Note: it can always get worse, don’t ask for it.  Embrace that the present is all you have to deal with.

To Do: Make A To Do List

I live each moment by a to-do list.  From the coffee I drink, to the movies I watch.  No exaggeration I include take a shower, eat breakfast, and watch tv on the same to do list as "complete this seriously hard assignment" and pay bills.  And I make a new one EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  Oh and then I have specific lists for books I need to read, stuff I want, movies I still need to see…which I check my progress on regularly.  Is this behavior neurotic?  Well I'm not exactly positive on what the exact definition of neurotic is, so I'd going to go with no, it's not.  So when I saw: “My future listograpy: All I hope to do in lists” I immediately had to purchase it.  I mean what other way is there to live than by checking things off on a piece of paper?  How do people function without one?  And those that do, are they productive members of society?  My biggest fear is dying and still having a to do list to accomplish.  Okay maybe that's an exaggeration (maybe).

Some of the lists were easy to fill out- places I’d like to see, adventures I’d like to go on.  But some were seriously hard-

• list artists I’d like to explore?  
• List moments I’d like to never forget?  
• Things I’d like to be fearless at?  I don’t know, I never really thought about it before.  Or really cared.  God, what kind of to-do list maker am I if I haven’t done any of this stuff?  
• Future Halloween costumes?  Ok at what age is dressing up for Halloween just sad? 
• List of festivals I’d like to go to?  Is there another festival besides a Renaissance festival
• Future date ideas? A movie?  I am so boring.

I never met a to do list I couldn’t make…until now.  I guess that’s why this book got published. 

I thought that at the age of 24, I’d been to a lot of places, tried a lot of things, and read a lot of books.  But I haven’t.  When you really sit down and think about it- it’s crazy the amount of experiences you’ve never experienced.  

I never knew that I knew so little.  You can study and dream your life away, but without experiences, then what does all that knowledge amount to?  When does it get to the point where you're putting the same thing on your to do list each day and you stop doing something new?  Maybe during the process of these experiences you’ll get burned or you’ll fail more than once, but at least you can say you were fearless.  And who knows what you might succeed at?

Goal: Put something new on your to-do list

100 Days of Happiness?

So I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning…again.  Which is safely an understatement as to how I've been feeling lately.  Another Monday, another day at the salt mine.  Can I just lay in my bed and lament at the horrors of life?  Working…driving…walking…moving…having to point the remote at the TV instead of being able to use telekinesis.  So I thought today would be a perfect day to start that 100 days of happiness thing.  Instantly my mind shot that idea down…who has the energy to be happy? Realizing that that was completely ridiculous, I decided to proceed with the challenge.  I thought okay I’m going to treat today like its my birthday.  But wait..aren’t you supposed to spend your birthday with people you know? Ok so that’s out.  I’m just going to try to put on a smile, pretend to be happy, and eat my way through this day. 

Well I smiled a lot…not too hard, not too painful.  I moved around a lot…made the day go by quicker, not too painful.  Ate a huge lunch…okay eating my way through this day was not a good idea and now I’m instantly reminded how I need to work out immediately.  Bought something…always an immediate mood booster.  Although it was more of a functional purchase than a fun purchase…so eh.

Okay the day is going okay, nothing significantly horrible has happened, my mood seems better.  I get home, shower.  I have a huge to do list over there, completely ignoring that.  Lay in bed to continue binge watching Dexter and boom my cable box isn’t working.  Okay move on to my laptop.  No internet connection.  Move on to my iPad, no connection.  Seriously?  Okay reset the cable box, reset the router.  I am all set to watch TV and do nothing.

Okay it’s safe to say this day wasn’t a total loss but wasn’t a total win either.  I could have YOLO-ed the day a little more...but live and learn.  Instead of dreading tomorrow, I’m excited and determined to challenge myself for happiness day 2. 

It’s easy to be negative, it’s harder to be positive.  Challenge yourself.

One of Those Weeks: A.K.A. The Week From Hell

So this week was supposed to be like the best week of like my entire year…like seriously.  Ok maybe that’s an exaggeration.  But my parents were going away on their like 5^th vacation in 2 years without me, therefore I had the entire house to myself.  Peace, serenity, seclusion.  I could sleep whenever I wanted, be messy, eat whatever whenever, play music loud, do whatever the hell I wanted whenever  and wherever I wanted.  I had been looking forward to this week for months…seriously.

Then I got ragingly ill.  Like the sickest I’ve been in years.  I had to drive myself to the E.R. – to no avail.  Then had to go to another emergency medical center- to no avail.  While having to go to work with a smile on my face in the mist of wanting to collapse and die.  Whoever said mental pain is worse than physical pain is cleeeeeeearly mistaken.  When you’re experiencing this “mental pain” you’re speaking of, just stick a knife in your leg and you’ll immediately change your mind.  And omg never tell anyone you’re related to that you just went to the E.R. because you’ll wake up to 11 missed calls and proceed to be smothered via your iPhone for the next 48 hours.  And then if you shut off your phone out of annoyance and don’t answer they think you’re dead.

I couldn’t even sleep to ecsape the agony.  I’m someone who takes sleep very seriously, so when I’m getting under 4 hours and not being able to do anything about it- there’s a problem.  So I found a heating pad in a random closet to put on my stomach while I attempted to lay down for an hour or two- and I started to feel a serious pinching and start to smell some weird odor.  Oh ok that’s just the heating pad melting plastic, burning my skin, and about to set on fire.  Shit.  Never ask the world if you’re life can get any worse than it is right now- because it can and it will.

So I air out my room, seriously concerned I might die from carbon monoxide.  I Google "heating pad malfunction" and its looking like death from fumes isn’t a thing, so I feel a little bit better.  I exhaustedly decide to sleep in my parents king size bed, because my room smells like fire, and think jeez its like a hotel in here.  I need a new mattress and new sheets and a new ambiance.  Okay which side of the bed is going to be less gross? My mom’s side or my dad’s side?  Probably my mom’s side even though I’m not really a right side of the bed person.  I heard sleeping on the left side of your bed is sooooooo much better for your mental health.  But at this point who gives a shit about my mental health? I’m tired, I’m annoyed, and I can’t even believe this awfulness has lasted for such a long amount of consecutive days.

So after a week of not being able to function, eat, or sleep, I finally wake up to 80 degree weather, a few pounds lighter, eat as if it was my first meal in weeks (it pretty much was), and come to the conclusion that the world is a big bunch of complainers.  Oh excuse me, I'm so sorry your head hurts, or your tired because you had to wake up an hour earlier than usual, or your throat hurts just a little bit, or that the rain is putting a damper on your day.  When someone has a serious problem they don’t complain.  They suck it up and move on with life.

Moral:  After the rain comes some serious sunshine.  Appreciate it.