So here I am all set to go to work for the day. I heard some rumblings about precipitation
but I wasn’t really paying attention. We
had two big snowstorms already, I tend to live in a cloud, and I think we’re
done for the year with extreme weather. And
then I walked out as saw my street completely unplowed. Okay clearly I’m not going to work and
clearly I’m trapped for the day. Now
what.
So I thought, oh perfect opportunity to go to the gym. Oh wait…I’m trapped in my driveway. Oh wait I’m completely TRAPPED in my driveway. I may or may not have a small claustrophobia
problem that doesn’t really exist at all, but sometimes I feel like it does. So really panic set in for no particular
reason because I’m not actually claustrophobic and I actually really enjoy
lounging around. But when you have an authentic
right to lounge around- it’s just not the same.
I can’t sit still. Suddenly there’s just way too many options: do I catch up on my Netflix queue, do
I dust, do I write a novel? I don’t know and this is too stressful.
So I cleaned. Well,
lets clarify- I don’t actually clean.
Ever. I just organize. So I faced the tedious and awful and
emotionally heartbreaking and grueling and nauseating experience of cleaning
out my closet. I wouldn’t say I’m a
clothes hoarder but I wouldn’t say I’m not a clothes hoarder. I mean yes I never wear 75% of the clothes I
own, but I like having them there as a buffer IN CASE they come back in style...or I lose weight...or I gain weight...or I suddenly figure out a way to wear them
differently and then suddenly become really attached. And then there’s certain items that I bought on vacations, or with my first ever paycheck, or my grandma bought for
me, etc.
But today I was like fuck it. This shit is taking up space, its making my
closet look ugly, and I’m sick of being confined to ¼ of my closet with the
things I actually do wear and use. That
bunch of stuff I donated during my last purge?
I can’t remember a single item. If
I get rid of all this stuff if gives me a GREAT excuse to buy more stuff.
Normally after getting rid of so much baggage you just feel
like your mind is clear and free. But
unfortunately I still have another closet to go through- and have a dresser- but whatever this
was the main hurdle so yay for me. But
eh didn’t really feel that accomplished.
But considering this was my mother’s biggest dream to throw large quantities of things away- I thought (yes I not she) I totally deserved something, so she
gave me one of her Louis Vuitton purses.
Well, she actually said maybe I could have it, and then I kind of just
took it- so that’s basically the same thing? She had previously asked me to
sell it and then there was just a random LV dust bag sitting on the other side
of her closet- so really I was doing her a favor. I’ve never really lusted after the bags
before but I mean it’s a Louis, if someone’s giving it to me I’m taking it and
cherishing it. (and by the way- it's grammatically still spelled Louis not Louie because it's a French brand so the "s" is silent, and I refuse to be tacky-so adjust the phonetics of the word in your head).
So now as the proud owner of my first Louis Vuitton, I didn’t
really feel that much excitement. I
didn’t feel that excited about overcoming my overwhelming anxiety of feeling
trapped for the day either, or about cleaning out and donating a huge portion of my
closet (hello doing charity work), or about getting an insanely inexpensive
purse? What the hell is wrong with me today?
And then I realized- maybe it’s because it’s 3pm, I haven’t
showered, am surrounded by piles of laundry, and am wearing a neon yellow
oversized T-shirt that says “Ted Is My Thunder Buddy” with a huge image of a
teddy bear (seriously).
Which leads me to the moral of this story- it is all about
ambiance and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Sure one might enjoy a hamburger from
McDonald’s more than they would at the Ritz Carlton- but would you rather sit
in a chair bolted to the floor with a homeless guy sitting outside or sit in a
Chateaux with a view of the Eiffel Tower?
Sure when you’re by yourself on a snow day there’s not
really a point to getting spruced up
or sipping champagne- but you never know when you’re randomly going to get a
very expensive purse.
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