31 Great Mysteries of My Mind..

31 Things I Would Like To Find Out the Answers To But Am Too Lazy To Google.

1.     do people who live on Desert Islands still consider someplace warm a vacation?  Or does it work oppositely and they prefer somewhere cold and desolate?

2.     What happens to fish when they die?  Do they just float in the ocean, millions and billions of them? Doesn't a live fish taste better than a dead fish?

3.     What happens to the bones when sharks digest the fish they eat?

4.     Why can’t lobsters die unless you kill them?  I feel like anything with a face shouldn’t be immortal

5.     Why do people enjoy camping?  Why not take a hike and stay in a cabin...with a mattress?

6.     Do psychotic people know that they’re crazy?

7.     Why are overweight people still overweight in prison?  Is there an excess of food in there?

8.     Did Dr. Seuss do drugs?

9.     Is it possible that all comedians are depressed?

10. Has anyone personally met a professional clown?

11. Do people have superpowers?

12. Can someone leave earth and enter space at the bottom of the ocean?

13.  Does anyone enjoy middle school?  And if they do...do they enjoy life now?

14. What’s the difference between a ranch and a farm?  I get the farm concept.  But a ranch? What's getting grazed and why?

15. Who was the actor that played “Dennis the Menace” and what ever happened to him?

16. Why did anyone making a movie in the 80s think it was okay to cast a 40 year old dude as a teenage delinquent alongside a 14 year old kid with braces?  And why did no one question it?

17. Why doesn't the state with the least amount of tourism (…it’s North Dakota.) not try to build something to make it worth going to?  All it takes is one casino. 

18. Okay if you’re from New York- you’re a New Yorker.  Hawaii- Hawaiian.  Virginia- Virginian.  Illinois-…?

19. Why is it cruel for humans to kill animals to eat them, when animals in the jungle kill and eat other animals? And aren't humans really just a result of evolution related to primates?  Actually do monkeys eat meet?

20. Do ants have their own language?

21. Why are cowboys called cowboys?  Why not horseboy?  Or horseman? Or cowman?

22. Why is one going to McDonalds to eat a salad? 

23. When people dream about living in a different time period don’t they realize that everyone had rotten teeth, couldn’t bathe, there was no t.v., there was no air conditioning, and probably slept on a rock?  I’ll take 2014 please. 

24. Why did they stop teaching kids how to write in cursive?  How are future famous people supposed to give their autograph?

25. What’s the difference between using a compass and looking at the direction of the sun in the sky?

26. Do Australians feel elite because they get to experience time first?  Is the opposite true for people on the opposite side of the Earth feel inferior?  Is the U.S. the opposite side?

27. Honestly- how many time zones are there in the mainland U.S.? I swore there was 4 and then someone told me there was 3?  Does Mountain Time not exist?

28. What if humans are actually ants living in a snow globe that is the Earth and Space and there’s a bigger species?

29. If Bill Gates was right in front of me, and I was struggling to use a computer- would I recognize him and would he laugh at me?

30. Do dentists eat?

31. If a scientist, or doctor, or Thomas Edison were teleported from year 1800 whatever to the present…would he feel like an idiot?

32. What's the point of having a state flower?  Does. Anyone. Care. ?. 

My Love/Hate Relationship with New York

Despite popular belief living New York City isn’t really as glamorous as it seems.  It can be really really great.  But it can also be really, really awful.  I kind of feel like the two extremes balance out to it being pretty normal- or bipolar either one.  Actually New York it probably a great place for someone aiming for a bipolar lifestyle.  Or is bipolar.  Okay I probably shouldn't say that in chances of offending someone who is actually bipolar.

So here is my top ten reasons as to why I love/hate New York.  Which actually adds up to 20 reasons...so my top 20.  Let's start negative and then end on a positive note.

Things I Haaaaateeeeeeeeee:

1.     How EVERYONE not actually from New York temporarily living there is OBSESSED with the fact that they live in New York.  It’s like such an air of pretentiousness that they now live and work in New York City….and whether they like to admit it or not, chances are it’s temporary.  Manhattan is on my birth certificate, whether I like it or not- I’m stuck with it.  Yes I can perpetually say I’m from New York.  If your birth certificate says Ohio.  You’re from Ohio! You can’t change where you’re from to make yourself seem more glamorous, even though you probably really want to.  And no someone who lives in New York isn’t automatically better than someone from South Dakota.  I mean yeah, South Dakota probably sucks, but don’t rub it in their face.  They do have Mount Rushmore, that’s something right? Or is that North Dakota? Okay I can’t even lie, I’m really thankful I wasn’t born in North Dakota.

2.     People’s hate for tourists.  And...well...tourists.  Ok yes, they’re kind of annoying.  Unless they ask you for directions on how to take the subway.  They you’re proud that you can give them excellent directions navigating the 2/3 to the 4/5/6, etc (okay maybe that's just me).  But seriously, if I travel to a foreign city, chances are I’m there to see some landmarks and I need to use a map.  And I’m probably walking slowly because I’m lost.  Or enjoying myself.  We get it.  You live there.  They don’t.  They’re still humans, and everyone is a tourist somewhere.

3.     The subway.  I’ve never experienced such a level of heat.  Or had have sweat in places on my body that I didn’t even think were capable of producing sweat.  Oh and the homeless.  Or maybe they're not actually homeless, maybe they're just dirty, I don't know.  And the random performers.  And the random drug addicts pretending they’re mom is in the hospital two hours away.  One time I actually saw someone perform a full on puppet-show.  And I could go on. Now that I think about it, does anyone ever windex those seats? 

4.     Walking under extreme weather conditions.  Walking is lovely.  A great form of exercise and a lovely way to experience New York and debut your outfit for the day.  Unless it’s snowing.  Or if there’s snow on the ground.  Or when it’s raining.  Or when it’s extremely hot.  Or when it’s extremely cold.  Or when you’re running late and racing to wherever you have to go and there’s a ton of tourists in your way and you’re navigating the sidewalk like you’re playing some type of video game.  I once had such a panic attack in Union Square that I literally pushed two people (probably tourists) apart because they weren’t crossing the street when CLEARLY there was a walk sign (or maybe there wasn't, but that would technically make me wrong).  It’s hot, I’m sweating, please move or do yourself a favor and leave NY because you’re annoying.  Oh and I seriously don’t get why people who live in the suburbs complain about the snow, heat, or rain.  You get in the car, turn on your heat, air conditioner, or windshield wipers, and then move on with life.  Try walking 5 blocks to the subway.  Waiting 10 minutes in an oven for the subway to arrive.  And then walk another 5 blocks to wherever you have to go.  Carrying ten bags of groceries with you.

5.     Everyone lives in a closet.  The size of the closet varies by income, but it’s still a closet. 

6.     Everyone thinks they’re just really, really, really good at what they do for a living.  You went to college, you can afford to live in New York, you found a job that you like and you’re good at- great, so is everyone else that lives here…please stop throwing it in my face as though I went to clown school and I spend my day doing pottery.

7.     People saying they’re from New York but really they live 10 minutes away in another state.  Do you think someone living in New York who lives 10 minutes away from New Jersey is telling people they’re from New Jersey? No. If you’re license plate says New Jersey just admit it- you’re from New Jersey.  No shame, despite popular belief, New Jersey is great.  Just own it. 

8.     Everyone wears black.  I mean yes, it’s understated, it’s chic, its slimming, its versatile.  But it’s subconsciously depressing.

9.     Exclusive nightlife.  It would be a lot of fun if I were actually a successful model or celebrity with tons of money and people catering to me.  But when you’re a normal person, just getting in because you’re good looking isn’t really that fun.  It doesn’t really make you famous.  Or cool.  Great you have a couple of photos showing that you were cool enough to go there.  You’re still not famous or rich.  Well unless you’re getting free alcohol.  Nothing beats free alcohol.  If I went to the bar at Red Lobster and was getting free alcohol, I’d keep going back. 

10. If you want to leave New York.  Chances are you don’t have a car.  And chances are you have to take a train…or worse.  A bus.  Let me repeat.  A bus.  They even took the bus to Atlantic City on Sex and the City.  I mean yeah you can add “the bus to Atlantic City” to your bucket list to just be able to say you experienced it.  But once is enough.

Things I LOVE about New York:

1.     The shopping.  I mean no words- it’s great.  Expensive, cheap, moderately priced.  Insane selection at every single store.  The sample sales.  A Zara on every block.  The sample sales.  The flagship stores.  The sample sales.  Trade shows.  It’s completely unrivaled. 

2.     Fashion week.  You may not get front row…but despite popular belief, it’s not totally impossible to see a show or two.

3.     Restaurant week.  Even though I kind of feel like I end up spending more than I normally would for a meal- it’s still great. 

4.     Always something to do and always something you haven’t done or haven’t seen.  Central park- when it’s not smoldering hot or freezing cold.  Museums.  Food.  There are 5 boroughs of greatness.  Well minus Staten Island.  Not really sure what’s happening there.

5.     Celebrity sightings.  Need I expand?

6.     The eclectic mix of people.  Also could be put on the “hate list” due to the pretentiousness, but most people are nice.  I mean where else would someone from Missouri end up becoming best friends with someone from Germany?  Well I guess Los Angeles could be a place. Or Chicago.  Or London.  But we’re focusing on New York here.

7.     The picturesque view from almost anywhere.  I would much rather walk past the Empire State Building everyday and look at the lights of the city on my outdoor patio than drive past a Taco Bell and a field of corn each day.  At least the suburbs have stars.  But who needs stars when you have skyscrapers?  I mean it’s the same effect right? Lights in darkness.  What's the difference if I wish upon a star or wish upon the Chrysler building?

8.     Always having transportation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  And you don’t have to drive.  You can get so much done during your commute.  You know how many times I’ve overslept and done my makeup on the subway so I arrived at work looking completely refreshed?  Um try at least every single time I ride the subway.  Sure I had little girls staring at me in awe, or elderly people smiling at how “cute” it was.  But hey, a homeless guy is sleeping two benches away, a group of kids are breakdancing for money…I’m flossing my teeth and doing my makeup sandwiched in between someone reading a really small bible with a foul odor and someone talking to themselves while eating an orange…if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

9.     Ironically I always feel kind of safe.  Doorman at the entrance of your building.  Police cars parked at every corner.  Cabs almost everywhere.  Especially if you look like a damsel in distress…they will always stop for you out of pity.  Constant people out at all hours.

10. The city never sleeps.  It’s true if you know where to go.  At 3a.m. if I want to go to the supermarket or get a cup of coffee or eat a meal.  I totally can.  And no one judges.  But don’t take the subway past 11p.m.  If any time is worth splurging on a cab- after 11p.m. and before 6 a.m. is the moment. 

So long story short- New York will always be there.  It’s not leaving.  Don’t live there and pretend to like it just because you feel like you’re supposed to.  If you love it great- it’s great, but don’t make everyone who doesn’t live there feel like his or her life is lesser than yours.  And don’t feel like a failure if you want to leave.  There’s other cities.  There’s other years of your life to take on a new adventure. 

And complete side note-my mind was completely blown when I found out that the show Seinfeld wasn’t filmed in New York.  I’m sorry WHAT?!  I wanted Jerry’s life.  I was obsessively watching episodes of Seinfeld right before I moved to New York.  But it turns out the entire show was filmed in L.A. What. The. Hell. That is just rude.  So really in reality, I should have been fantasizing about living in L.A.  I mean yes there’s Sex in the City, but we all know that her lifestyle wasn’t at all true-to-life.

Well my friends, until next time...

Blow and Destiny

So recently I watched the movie Blow.  It was on my Netflix queue that I honestly forgot existed because I've been too occupied binge watching random TV series.  It automatically got mailed to me once I finished my most recent TV series.  I saw it when I was like 10- I didn’t like it and didn’t get it.  I mean I was 10.  What 10 year old would enjoy a movie about drug smuggling? And throughout the entire movie I thought I was watching Heath Leger, not Johnny Depp.

But there was nothing on for the next 2 hours.  I didn’t really have any desire to watch it and was planning on mailing it back but then suddenly I thought: It’s in front of me….maybe I was destined to watch this movie right at this moment in time.  Sadly this is how my mind actually operates 90% of the time, so I watched it. 

It was pretty decent, better than i remembered it.  And then during the last 10 minutes I just started sobbing.  I felt so beyond bad for Johnny Depp.  Couldn't they change the ending to make this movie end better?  And then I realized- I’m crying hysterically because a drug smuggler, who made millions I might add, got sentenced to 60 years in prison and lost all contact with his family?

Then it became- well its not that I feel bad that he went to jail… I feel bad because he probably had so much going for him, and had such a great family, and in the end was chasing all the wrong things in life.  Then it became what if I’m chasing the wrong things in life? What if at 60 years old, I’m alone, in a cave, realizing that everything that I thought was important wasn’t that important.  What if I attract the wrong people in my life? What if no one ever gets me?  On the outside I’d most likely say I come off as caring about materialistic items more than the average person.  On the inside, I probably care about materialistic items less than the average person.  But what if no one ever sees that? What if I’m just misunderstood? I mean hello I’m a Gemini, I have a split personality.  Life can be so complicated.

And then I just told myself- to snap the hell out of it.  How am I going to end up in a cave? I’ve never even been near a cave.  This wasn’t even supposed to be a sad movie.  It wasn’t even that great of a movie.  Why am I comparing my entire personality to someone who smuggled drugs? 

Not everything that happens is some deep part of your destiny.  Not every moment of your life has to mean something or be life changing.  Things happen for a reason- big or small.  People come and people go.  You don’t have to spend every moment analyzing it and trying to make sense of it all.  If an epiphany comes… great.  If not, whatever happens, happens- maybe there’s a reason, maybe there’s not.  Life is too short and too great to spend 20 minutes upset over the outcome of a criminal’s life in a movie.  

Moral: if you don’t do drugs, you’ll probably end up OK.

Things I've Really Wanted to Tweet/Post About This Past Week

So I'm trying really hard to be more private/not publish my random thoughts throughout the day due to boredom, frustration, or excitement.

So instead I'm consolidating them all from the past week in this blog post.  Because putting my thoughts on a different forum is progress on being more private.  Enjoy!

1. Know my favorite color, know my soul
2. I can't sleep
3. Mod About You...in Fiji
4. I've officially watched 100 episodes of Lost.  I am so obsessed
5. I really want to go to a legitimate Indian restaurant...although they don't eat meat right?
6. I've been really obsessed with eye color lately
7.  Anyone else get really creeped out by people with grey hair and black eyebrows?
8. I've made so many different to do lists this week, I'm getting both stressed out and confused instead of organized
9. I just spent 30 minutes curling my hair, only for it to be pin straight 10 minutes later.  I don't even have straight hair #hairproblems
10. It's snowing!
11. Eyebrows really make or break a person
12. Josh Holloway from Lost is so hot
13. Hurley <3
14. I thought football only happened on Sundays?
15. The amount of time I spend looking at lipstick colors on the Internet is insane
16. I hate when people are passive aggressive towards you through social media.  Get a life.
17. I need coffee and my own personal barista to follow me around everywhere
18. Ew jury duty.  I feel both annoyed and old
19. Please stop asking me if my hair color is my natural hair color
20. The most productive thing I did all day was shower #truth
21. It's freezing...wahh
22. I can never say the words "voluminous" or "philosophical" out loud without getting tongue-tied and then just failing.

There you have it- my super intellectual and pointless thoughts from the past 7 days.  I'm going to have to start writing these tidbits of info in a journal.

New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions are so lame.  They’re just like a sure way to experience failure immediately into another year.  Why do you need a specific day of the year to try and become a better person?  And seriously, you can’t just become a different person overnight because the year on the calendar changed.  Let’s get real, you’re not going to become an Olympic athlete or read any more books than you want to read.  And by "you" I'm really talking about "me."

So initially my New Year’s resolution was not to make any resolutions, because it’s stupid and unrealistic and its not second grade or a spiritual journey to India..  But considering I live each moment of my life by a To Do List, that sadly includes showering, brushing my teeth, and drinking coffee each day- I was destined to make a few.

So here are my resolutions:

1.     Put more effort into grooming myself.  I feel like the Kardashians are constantly beautifying themselves, how can you not feel like you’re just not clean enough? And to clarify- I shower and brush my teeth everyday- I’m not gross.  But I should totally be carrying floss with me everywhere, breath mints after I eat or drink anything.  Cutting up fruit and making a facial from scratch.  Using sunscreen even when its raining out because you can never be too safe.  Using anti-aging products now, because it’s never too early and botox is gross. 

2.     Be more private.  Do I really need to document every moment and emotion of my life on social media for people in far away lands to see? No.  Instagramming to take photos of my stuff is completely acceptable.  Other than that- I’ll stick to text messaging for communication.  It’s a start.

3.     Do something other than watch TV on my days off from work.  While sitting at home, recuperating, and catching up on my TV addiction sounds more than great- it’s kind of lame for a 24 year old.  I mean paying $15 to see a movie or going to a bar to drink a drink instead of sitting on my couch drinking the same drink doesn't sound that appealing- but I’m not 80 yet.  Get a grip.

So that’s what I plan on doing in 2014- flossing more, tweeting less, and going to the movies.  And I actually had to think about that.  Cheers to 2014 it sounds amazing already.  And yes flossing is more important to me than “finding myself” or “cutting out toxic people from my life” because hello I’m 24, I’ve already “found myself” and who has the energy to even care about anyone being toxic or not- I have hair to brush and hands to moisturize.