If a genie granted me
5 wishes. I’d wish for the following:
1. I wish I were an
alien. Are aliens going to abduct me now
that I just said that? Like how do they
choose who they’re going to abduct? I
feel like they always choose people on cat hoarder shows or extreme couponers
or farmers that farm crops that no one really wants. Well I’m none of those things so I pray they
don’t abduct me.
2. I wish I were a
fish. So I knew what true extreme
boredom must be like. Like what else do
they do beside swim? There’s no
entertainment down there. And they never
get to see themselves in a mirror. And
their memory is like 12 seconds? Life must be so confusing.
3. I wish I were an
eskimo. And I could live in an
igloo. And build snowmen all day. And create ice sculptures. And see a moose in person. Unless moose are dangerous. Then I’ll pass on the moose part of eskimo life.
4. I wish I was a
Virgo. So I could know if it feels
exactly the same as being a Gemini, confirming that if you use general words to
make sentences feel personalized, then horoscopes are a sham. Or to confirm, that yes, I do have
personality issues, it’s not everyone, it is just me and the other millions of
people born during the month of June.
5. Then I'd wish to
be myself again. On earth. On land.
Eating fish I didn’t have to catch myself. With a better birthday.
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