Lemons

So you know when you wake up, and instantly you just know that today sucks.  Nothing has happened yet, obviously, because you haven’t even gotten out of bed, barely have opened your eyes, and just started normal brain functioning 3 seconds ago.  But you’re already not in the mood for this day.  Can I just go back to bed and start over?  Or can I just sleep through this whole day?  Unfortunately this isn’t what dreams are made of, and yes, you do have to get through the day.

But a lot of the time, you wake up, hating the world because your tired, and nothing is greater than the gift of sleep, and then over the course of like a few hours your day goes back to being not so bad.  But sometimes, and I would like to underline sometimes, things not only completely continue to suck, they get worse.  And they get worse in ways that you could not even comprehend ever happening. 

Example 1- Someone, and by someone a random passerby, asking if they can sit next to me while I’m eating my lunch. Me responding no-OBVIOUSLY,- and them looking like they want to strangle me.  Um, there’s no space at my table, #youcantsitwithus, #itsnotgonnahappen, and hash tag I get 1 hour out of my day to not make awkward small talk with people.  And why was this threatening look of death necessary?  Also, do I give off the impression that I would be the type of person who would be okay with that?  And if so, let me go figure out a way to change my entire personality.

Example 2- Pumping gas, and being attacked by a bee.  Therefore aborting the “getting gas” mission, getting back into your car, and having the bee fly into your car.  Um annoying bee- the car is not your habit.  You can either sting me and die, or fly over to some flowers and make some honey.  I thought bees were supposed to be smart.  Oh wait those are ants.

Example 3-Being told I suck and that I’m great all in the same sentence regarding the same thing.  Let’s just say I’m average and call it a day. 

Example 4- Living somewhere for 7 years and just suddenly realizing that you never noticed that HUGE field of wheat right next to you.  God I thought I lived in the suburbs not the country.  Clearly my mind blocked it out for a reason and now isn’t the really moment for me to be coming to terms with reality.

Like is the universe trying to tell me, through all this unnecessary nonsense, that yes life does suck, no it does not get better, and there is no such thing as karma.  Or maybe there is, and my karma just really sucks.  But then I thought about it and I realized…nothing.  I realized nothing from all of this.  The only conclusion I can give is that when life gives you lemons, and its too much effort to make lemonade, give it up and take the first available nap you can.  There’s nothing wrong with lemons in the first place and lemonade is entirely too sweet.