Over the past few weeks I've felt like so many things were unraveling, just waiting to fall apart. Stability was hanging by a thread that was about to snap at any moment.
There's a lot that I don't know. A lot of answers I wish I had. A lot of things I wish I could explain, but life is one mysterious man. We push people away when we need them most. Friends tell you things you don't want to hear. Sometimes you wish everyone would just lie to you. Lie to you as easily as you can lie to yourself. During the darkest moments, you become such a lonely soul. You wish you could explain it. you wish you had all the answers to give. But you don't. You don't know why. You don't seem to ever have the right words, only the wrong ones.
Major life events always bring up feelings of guilt for me. A.k.a. my upcoming graduation. Should I have done more? Could I have done more? Did I try hard enough? Did I miss something? Should I be proud? Should I apologize? I just don't know.
Who's a good influence? What's a bad influence? I don't know.
None of us think we're like the rest. Maybe that means that none of us are like each other. Thats why is so hard to understand what goes through someone's mind and the reasons for their actions. Trying to figure it all out is exhausting. Leaning on yourself is exhausting.
So I stopped looking for the answers. I stopped trying to figure it all out. And then the answer came to me. All it took was one inspirational quote, and suddenly it all became clear:
"Don't be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you're trying."
Then for a minute I stopped pressuring myself so much to make the right decisions. And suddenly things started to come to together.
Therefore I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure out an impossible riddle.
Just love yourself.
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