To give you a bit of a glimpse into my life lately....
You’re just casually just walking down the street. The sun is shining. You're admiring the
scenery. Thinking thoughts such as, "oh there's a cute dog. I wish I had a dog. But do I really wish I had a dog? Probably not. Damn I just realized I forgot my iPod. Is that that tall guy from 30 rock? I should really get glasses. etc. etc." The thoughts go on. And then. Someone just pops out of nowhere and throws a can of paint on you.
I stand there in shock thinking what the actual hell? Like I just woke up an hour ago, what could I
have done to have the universe hate me already?
So I'm dripping with paint (not literally, this is just an analogy folks), partially annoyed,
partially upset, but mostly just want to start laughing, because why wouldn’t someone throw a can of
paint on me. I mean why? Why not really? You’re there.
The paint is there. You’re on a
street so nothing else can really get stained, so really the only cleanup for the other person is
throwing away the paint can.
Well imagine that happening to
you. On five different streets. On five different days in a row. That pretty much sums up my life
recently. I mean okay one can of paint I
can maybe expect, but 5 in a week? Huh? Really? And you try to vent to a nearby passerby, but they just give you a blank stare, thinking inside "thank god that wasn't me."
So needless to say, I was just
confused as to why the universe was throwing cans of paint at me. So I decided to go on a 3-day spiritual fast
to get some mental clarity. ....Seriously. I seriously decided to
do that. This actually happened. 3 days ago.
So like the tech savvy researcher I am, I googled,
“how to do a spiritual cleanse.” First, I found
an article with a ton of directions basically saying God will condemn you
if you’re not doing this to get closer to God, etc, etc. I mean jeez, I don’t want to offend
anyone. I mean I think mental clarity is
a right reason? But if I don’t go to
Church at 7a.m., take walks in a park and reflect on my sins, are a bunch of
flying fish going to come flying down and attack me? I mean I'm not really a fish person.
So I scratched the word
spiritual. And just decided to go on 3
day fast for mental clarity. Again there
were a bunch of directions on a WikiHow article about preparing yourself,
eating raw foods, a week before and reintroducing some other stuff back into
your body a few days later, some weird ingredients you should buy, blah blah blah. I mean come on this is not a 2 week process I’m embarking on here. So I decided to forgo the directions and
forgo the spiritual aspect of it. So in reality, I just stopped eating for 3 days, and attached the phrase spiritual to the end of it.
Day 1: Sunday.
The day is so much more dull if you don't have eating to look forward to. I took a walk, took a nap, watched tv. Not that hard. I wasn’t even that hungry.
Day 2: Monday. I looked like crap. I looked diseased. I smelled.
And my mind was completely foggy.
How am I supposed to get mental clarity if I can’t even think
straight? I went to the gym. Then was like is this a good idea? So I left 10 minutes into my workout and took
my second shower of the day. Much harder
to not eat because I had no energy.
However I did get some mental clarity.
Day 3: Tuesday. I woke up in a pretty good
mood. Went about my day, being
productive, pretty energized, focused on all the things I had to do. And then about halfway into a sandwich, I was like
wait? I forgot I’m not eating for 3
days. Yes I forgot I was on a fast. Who just forgets? Its not even like I couldn’t take it anymore,
I was going pretty strong. So then after
that I was like oh well, screw it, I tried, this idea was weird. Next time I’ll just read a book about the
meaning of life or watch Schinler’s List or something and move on.
So what did I learn? Sometimes despite you’re best efforts, the
world just throws things at you.
Sometimes it throws a lot at you.
At once. Literally in the span of
a second. But at the end of the day,
does it really matter? We can only be
the best people we can be, with the information and resources we have. Don’t let something that probably won’t
matter in 2 days affect your mood.
And
my words of advice to you all: Laugh at life.
An outfit drenched in paint will always look better with a smile
attached to it. Oh and unless you're trying to be the next Ghandi, just eat.
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