What to Do When you Feel Like a Man

Is there anything worst than then feeling like you're one minute away from growing a full on beard, having your purse transform into a basketball, and that glass of champagne being replaced with beer?  I think not.  Here is how you can recover...

1.Spray perfume.  Not body spray, not cologne, not deodorant, not a scented lotion, PERFUME.
2. If nothing else, put on lipstick.
3. Curl hair, or attempt to.
4. Pink is always the answer
5. Eat all food items with a fork and knife
6.  When you start to sweat, explain that your beauty is simply prone to glistening
7.  Burn any pair of white socks or white sneakers that you own
8.  Write with a purple pen-fabulousness does not have time to slack
9. Bake (and proceed to eat items with a knife and fork)
10.  Turn on Bravo and watch whatever is on for a minimum of 2 hours

How to Recover From a Bad Mood

If you're fabulous like me, terrible moods usually don't plague you, but every so often they manage to make their appearance so here's a few tips on how to turn that frown upside down, or at least attempt to look a little less pissed off.


1.  Surround yourself with other people who are also in a bad mood.  When I'm in a bad mood, I'd really rather just sulk and complain about it.  Someone else's bright smile and great mood, put me in a worse mood.  Someone else's bad mood puts me in a better mood.  Is that a good thing?  Probably not, but its the truth.



2. Go to the gym.  The one hour of the day when I deliberately allow myself to look pissed off.  I get a better workout, and by the end of it am too exhausted to feel an emotion of any kind.



3. Look at a puppy.  If they don't make you smile, you don't have a heart.



4. Watch The Exorcist.  You'll feel much better about almost any situation.



(Ah I can't even look at this picture I'm so scared)

5. Wear sunglasses.  It masks the death stares that you feel like giving to random passer-bys.


6. Buy yourself something.  No money?  No problem, just swipe that credit card.  I'm in a bad mood and I'm worth it.  I'll figure out financing my purchases when I'm in a better mood.















7. Take a nap no matter what time of day.  When you wake up, you'll feel more delirious than anything else.



8. Clean.  You can really expend a lot of your rage by cleaning.  AND when you're done you'll be happy you can at least sulk in a clean environment.






9. Try to trip over something, even if you're by yourself, you'll feel more like an idiot than a pissed off human being




10. Try to remove ice cubes from the ice cube tray.  You'll feel really accomplished when you're done