Well today was my special day-my 22nd birthday, the big 2-2. I have to admit my expectations weren't super high for this one. I mean graduation has occurred, all my friends are dispersed literally throughout the world. The spectacular and extravagant 21 was last year, and I mean you're 22nd birthday can't really compare to the excitement of that. Then there's your 18th birthday when you're finally a technical adult (ha! I feel like the cutoff line for adulthood needs to be changed to 24). And then there was 17, when I got my license. And of course sweet 16 (why don't boys have sweet 16s?). And all my grammar school birthday parties that took place at the best places ever for a kid, and I received the best barbies ever. But my barbie days are over, and really at 22 what is there to do? I've done it all. And I've finally come to the realization that the entire world is not going to stop and praise and cater to me because its my birthday. The paparazzi is not going to stalk me all day and take my photo....
So I thought, okay well what should I do today? Birthdays, holidays, etc, can turn out to be a big dud if you hold your expectations too high. I mean if you're birthday is on a Monday, chances are if you go out to eat, the restaurant is going to be completely empty, and no offense, but am I the only one who feels like thats completely creepy? Not to mention lonely and un-special. I would much rather spend $20 on dinner at the Olive Garden than a fancy restaurant for a $40 meal on a Monday night with the only other people in the restaurant being an elderly couple or a loner at the bar.
And then there's the cake, which I mean unless its a home-made cake with love or if you have a serious cake obsession, a bakery bought cake can be pretty dull. And how many pieces of cake can you eat? Save the $30, the 5 slices of cake I feel obligated to eat for the remainder of the week, and just buy me a cookie and a bottle of champagne.
And what do I do at night or during the day? Throw a huge party that I spend the entire day stressing and preparing for? Wake up with a hangover or something broken and the massive task of cleaning? Been there done that.
Well the day came and went, and I have to say it was one of my best birthday's to date. Why? Because I spent the entire day with my beary best friend, my teddy bear Puffy. Ha okay just kidding! That'd be both weird, pathetic, and I probably a bit creepy, however he did participate in my afternoon nap. But seriously...it was because I didn't put too much pressure on it. Everyone says "Today is your day" and I thought you know? Today is my day. I'm another year older, and another year wiser.
So I woke up, and put on a fabulous purple skirt, orange tank, and lace blazer combo. On a normal day, I'd get the annoying, "oh wow you're so dressed up just to go here, " "Why are you wearing that just to do this?" "Did you just dress up for me?" "Where do you think you're going?" But today I was like you know what, it's my birthday and I can wear whatever the hell I want. And no I don't think I'll be walking down the red carpet, going on a date with Derek Jeter, and sorry no I did not dress up just for you. I like wearing nice outfits. And I don't care if there's no one to impress but I like wearing makeup. I'm the one who has to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with myself, so sorry if I get satisfaction out of looking nice. Some feel great wearing sweats, and that's great for them but sorry I just feel some sort of depression.
Then instead of splurging on an expensive meal or expensive get together or receiving a plethora of mediocre gifts, I took myself to the spa and got a facial. I'm sorry is there really a better place to pamper yourself than the spa? I think not. And my massage therapist politely informed me that, birthdays only get better, because she is loving her 30s and she loved her 20s.
Then I sat outside overlooking a beautiful park while I dined at an authentic French restaurant and sipped on a quite amazing cocktail. (Oh and by I, I mean myself and my mom: I am not a loner). Then I strolled around, did some window shopping and headed home.
Then I did another one of my favorite activities-I treated myself to a great nap. Why some people don't nap, I'll never understand. After I went to a restaurant I like to frequent, and for dessert, I skipped the cake and treated myself to a Cinnabon, yes a CINNABON. And it was way more enjoyable than any slice of cake I've ever had, and was still special because I'm sorry unless you're morbidly obese, most people don't eat Cinnabons frequently in there daily diets. Yes one is about 800 calories, but its my birthday so who really cares?
Finally I ended the night with a bubble bath, some lavender candles, and an episode of Real Housewives. And I realized, today I got to do all my favorite things.
Tip--Your Birthday is a day for you to enjoy, so do what makes you happy. Everyone's lives aren't going to stop to throw you a surprise party or set off fireworks or roll out a red carpet. Don't over plan it, and just do your favorite things.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Taking One Step Back, Moves You Two Feet Forward
Well, the past few days have been H-O-T hot. Or an extreme torrential downpour. It really has not even been worth venturing outside. Or really worth showering, or putting on a nice outfit. My room is organized to complete perfection, my movie list complete, school is over, so now what?
Well I took a cool bath and debated what to do. I thought I'll just have a relaxing afternoon, read a magazine, watch a movie, and go through my memory boxes under my bed that I've been keeping for quite some years.
Well Oh My God, one thing led to another, and I pretty much relived ever major moment in my life in 4 hours. It was quite the emotional journey. Awards from grammar school, old toys, picture, 2 yearbooks and messages from middle school, grammar school diploma, play bills, pictures from high school, endless amounts of notes passed between friends in high school and what seemed like the serious gossip and drama at the time, did I pay attention in class or just write notes all day? 4 yearbooks from high school, sweet 16 cards, my old license, 18th birthday cards, old essays and projects, then there was a scrapbook of all the major events of my sophomore year of high school, Model U.N. trips, concert stubs, and then a box from when I went to Ireland for 2 weeks, a box for when I went to Italy, a box for when I went to Martinique for 6 weeks, and finally my most recent box with my college graduation materials.
Looking at each item in the boxes, I felt like I was shifted back in time. My belongs and notes brought back details I had forgotten about, people I had forgotten about, and moments I had forgotten about. Wow I guess I have done a lot in 22 years-I've met a lot of people and I've been to a lot of places, who knew? Life just seems so uneventful on a daily basis.
The memories brought back some smiles, but I'm happy the memories are in a box. Would I want to go back to grammar school, middle school, or even freshman year of college? Not really. Actually not at all. I feel like life just gets better as the years go on, or maybe we get better at life as the years go on. But without all those past moments I wouldn't be who or where I am right now.
It was a nice reminder that in 10 years, what I'm stressing over now, won't seem as trivial as I thought it was at the time. All those memories helped me re-access what I'm doing on a daily basis, and allowed me to humble myself a little.
Tip of today: If you're feeling stuck, take a trip down memory lane.
Well I took a cool bath and debated what to do. I thought I'll just have a relaxing afternoon, read a magazine, watch a movie, and go through my memory boxes under my bed that I've been keeping for quite some years.
Well Oh My God, one thing led to another, and I pretty much relived ever major moment in my life in 4 hours. It was quite the emotional journey. Awards from grammar school, old toys, picture, 2 yearbooks and messages from middle school, grammar school diploma, play bills, pictures from high school, endless amounts of notes passed between friends in high school and what seemed like the serious gossip and drama at the time, did I pay attention in class or just write notes all day? 4 yearbooks from high school, sweet 16 cards, my old license, 18th birthday cards, old essays and projects, then there was a scrapbook of all the major events of my sophomore year of high school, Model U.N. trips, concert stubs, and then a box from when I went to Ireland for 2 weeks, a box for when I went to Italy, a box for when I went to Martinique for 6 weeks, and finally my most recent box with my college graduation materials.
Looking at each item in the boxes, I felt like I was shifted back in time. My belongs and notes brought back details I had forgotten about, people I had forgotten about, and moments I had forgotten about. Wow I guess I have done a lot in 22 years-I've met a lot of people and I've been to a lot of places, who knew? Life just seems so uneventful on a daily basis.
The memories brought back some smiles, but I'm happy the memories are in a box. Would I want to go back to grammar school, middle school, or even freshman year of college? Not really. Actually not at all. I feel like life just gets better as the years go on, or maybe we get better at life as the years go on. But without all those past moments I wouldn't be who or where I am right now.
It was a nice reminder that in 10 years, what I'm stressing over now, won't seem as trivial as I thought it was at the time. All those memories helped me re-access what I'm doing on a daily basis, and allowed me to humble myself a little.
Tip of today: If you're feeling stuck, take a trip down memory lane.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Out With the Old and In With the New
Well it's been quite some time since my last blog entry. Or at least a good one anyway. What happened? I was on such a roll. Well I'd say most of the month of May was spent in seclusion either in the library or a similar-like environment studying and getting everything done I needed to before graduation. My anxiety was at an all-time high, there was absolutely no time for watching TV, socializing, speaking on the phone, eating, sleeping, etc. Oh and then I had to deal with moving out of my amazing apartment, which required enough physical labor needed for about a month.
But now that that chapter of my life is finally over, I'm done with school and finally entering the real world. I work more hours during the week, I actually wake up before 10 a.m., and I have to say there hasn't been much naptime. And with my birthday coming up, I'll be one year older and one year wiser. So I figured okay time to move upward and onward. I threw away bags and bags of old clothing and things in my room. It felt good but it was also rather horrifying to think I actually wore some of those things and actually thought I looked good in them.
Anyway so I threw all my old stuff away, and precisely displayed all the new. Feeling accomplished and proud after days of hard labor, aka picking up a hammer, my dad commented "Oh so I guess you plan on living with us awhile." The comment put a bit of a damper on things. In a year if I am suddenly working at Wal-Mart dating someone with missing teeth, contemplating if I should milk my own cows, I'll become concerned.
And I FINALLY finished my project of watching all AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time. Promise this is my FINAL movie post. I just have to get it out of my system.
I must admit that after years and months of this, the most memorable films were also the worst films and the most bizarre. Each time I watched a bad one, I was like okay well nothing can be worse than this. Oh but some did get worse. And worse. And some were just like really?
However I did learn a lot-about the world, about myself, and about my opinions-from all those movies and must say I was inspired by more than a few.
For example, today when I broke out my hammer to hang something I thought, you know the Indians and Cowboys in all those awful Westerns I watched didn't have power tools in their time and they managed to build actual homes, I'll be fine.
And then I thought I may just collapse from the heat, but then I thought about how hot it must of been for those US soldiers fighting in the Vietnam war, if they're not complaining why should I?
Then I was annoyed that I had to go into work today, but then I remembered that guy who had to escape out of prison for a crime he didn't even commit in the Shawshank Redemption, and I thought standing in 6 hours of air conditioning and then going home isn't so bad.
I also discovered that a 2 1/2 hour movie really isn't that long. There were about 5 movies on list that were almost 4 hours. I felt like I just lived through 5 years after getting through those. All silent films are not created equal. One of them was funny and enjoyable. The other had a moving train as one of the co-stars, enough said there. And the final one I watched was made in 1916. Yes 1916, who knew they even made movies that early. Oh and it was almost 3 hours. It was made up of 4 eras, the last one being the "modern" era, but I couldn't tell which era that was because I'm sorry 1916 is no longer considered modern times. Oh and you can't look away or zone out for a few minutes, because there is no sound. It required more energy than reading a book. You had to watch every single detail that occurred, read the occasional suggested dialogue and try and figure out what was supposed to be considered humorous in the early 1900s. However I sucked it up and watched them all. After watching the initial majority that I actually had a desire to see, I was left with about 35 unappealing films. For every 7 awful ones came 1 amazing one. I had an open mind throughout the entire process and was pleasantly surprised with the results.
Here are my final comments on a few films and then I promise I'm done writing about a bunch of movies no one else under the age of 80 (okay maybe 50) has seen.
High Noon-I thought if you've seen one Western you've seen them all, but I have to say itwas quite the suspense.
Tootsie and The Graduate-I learned who Dustin Hoffman was-a comedic and talented actor-not just some random, famous guy.
MASH, Dr Strangelove, and Easy Rider- I learned that the 70s were a very, very, very weird time, and if someone claims they were not on drugs during this era, they must be lying. Watching Easy Rider was like watching a movie of what it would be like to be on drugs, except not be on drugs, and then just have your mind blown. It left me both confused, bored, and frightened all at the same time.
2001: A Space Odyssey- Imagine watching 3/4 of Titantic then the last quarter turning into Star Wars. Oh better yet imagine watching ET and then the last 15 minutes transitioning into Finding Nemo. Seriously. And eliminate about 85% of the dialogue in each film. It was the most aesthetically pleasing, yet haunting, yet dullest movie I have ever seen.
Then I watched Nashville- which really after watching I really just had to question why this was on the list. It was 2 hours long and I didn't realize until 1:45 minutes that I had no idea what the hell was going on. So I did a litlte research on IMDB, and apparently the first time you watch it its awful, and then the second or third time you end up falling in love with it. I'm sorry but I have to suffer through 2 hours of a movie, not understand or enjoy any minute of it, and then force myself to do it one or two more times so I can then enjoy it? Not happening.
Duck Soup and A Night at the Opera-not funny nor worth watching if you are under the age of 60 or over the age of 7.
Blade Runner-a cheesy, bizarre 80s sci-fi movie. I didn't know you could combine cheesy 80s romance and science fiction. Why did every movie from the 80s involve the same techno music, big hair, and people dressing as though they were fairies or vampires.
Sophie's Choice and Schindler's List-the holocaust was sad and we should all be traumatized.
The Deer Hunter-I now understand why people who fought in the Vietnam war are mentally ill. I think I'm now mentally ill after watching this.
Rocky-you've seen one boxing movie you've seen them all. They all seem to win Oscars though.
Midnight Cowboy-I feel like I should have been more emotionally invested, I feel like I should have cried at the end, I feel like I should have been weirded out, but really I think my tolerance for my mind being blown is at an all-time high.
The Apartment-apparently in 1960, you could have a job as an elevator girl. I don't get it? You just have to push a button.
Do the Right Thing-I want pizza
Spartacus-you've seen one ancient Greek war film, you've seen them all.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?-I am. And I'm afraid of professors and marriage at the age of 50.
Bonnie and Clyde-not as fabulous of a couple as I thought. Thank god I don't live in the mid-west. But I guess a significant portion of the population actually does live there.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest-whenever you think that you or the world is going crazy, just watch this movie and you'll feel normal again.
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington-well I guess after 50 years nothing in politics has changed.
Gone with the Wind-I guess there were actually 2 sides of the Civil War, who knew?
So now I can finally join the rest of society and again watch movies that are relevant to pop culture or at least have the ability to be mentioned casually in a dinner conversation.
Fabulous tip for today: Start a new project with an open mind.
But now that that chapter of my life is finally over, I'm done with school and finally entering the real world. I work more hours during the week, I actually wake up before 10 a.m., and I have to say there hasn't been much naptime. And with my birthday coming up, I'll be one year older and one year wiser. So I figured okay time to move upward and onward. I threw away bags and bags of old clothing and things in my room. It felt good but it was also rather horrifying to think I actually wore some of those things and actually thought I looked good in them.
Anyway so I threw all my old stuff away, and precisely displayed all the new. Feeling accomplished and proud after days of hard labor, aka picking up a hammer, my dad commented "Oh so I guess you plan on living with us awhile." The comment put a bit of a damper on things. In a year if I am suddenly working at Wal-Mart dating someone with missing teeth, contemplating if I should milk my own cows, I'll become concerned.
And I FINALLY finished my project of watching all AFI's Top 100 Films of All Time. Promise this is my FINAL movie post. I just have to get it out of my system.
I must admit that after years and months of this, the most memorable films were also the worst films and the most bizarre. Each time I watched a bad one, I was like okay well nothing can be worse than this. Oh but some did get worse. And worse. And some were just like really?
However I did learn a lot-about the world, about myself, and about my opinions-from all those movies and must say I was inspired by more than a few.
For example, today when I broke out my hammer to hang something I thought, you know the Indians and Cowboys in all those awful Westerns I watched didn't have power tools in their time and they managed to build actual homes, I'll be fine.
And then I thought I may just collapse from the heat, but then I thought about how hot it must of been for those US soldiers fighting in the Vietnam war, if they're not complaining why should I?
Then I was annoyed that I had to go into work today, but then I remembered that guy who had to escape out of prison for a crime he didn't even commit in the Shawshank Redemption, and I thought standing in 6 hours of air conditioning and then going home isn't so bad.
I also discovered that a 2 1/2 hour movie really isn't that long. There were about 5 movies on list that were almost 4 hours. I felt like I just lived through 5 years after getting through those. All silent films are not created equal. One of them was funny and enjoyable. The other had a moving train as one of the co-stars, enough said there. And the final one I watched was made in 1916. Yes 1916, who knew they even made movies that early. Oh and it was almost 3 hours. It was made up of 4 eras, the last one being the "modern" era, but I couldn't tell which era that was because I'm sorry 1916 is no longer considered modern times. Oh and you can't look away or zone out for a few minutes, because there is no sound. It required more energy than reading a book. You had to watch every single detail that occurred, read the occasional suggested dialogue and try and figure out what was supposed to be considered humorous in the early 1900s. However I sucked it up and watched them all. After watching the initial majority that I actually had a desire to see, I was left with about 35 unappealing films. For every 7 awful ones came 1 amazing one. I had an open mind throughout the entire process and was pleasantly surprised with the results.
Here are my final comments on a few films and then I promise I'm done writing about a bunch of movies no one else under the age of 80 (okay maybe 50) has seen.
High Noon-I thought if you've seen one Western you've seen them all, but I have to say itwas quite the suspense.
Tootsie and The Graduate-I learned who Dustin Hoffman was-a comedic and talented actor-not just some random, famous guy.
MASH, Dr Strangelove, and Easy Rider- I learned that the 70s were a very, very, very weird time, and if someone claims they were not on drugs during this era, they must be lying. Watching Easy Rider was like watching a movie of what it would be like to be on drugs, except not be on drugs, and then just have your mind blown. It left me both confused, bored, and frightened all at the same time.
2001: A Space Odyssey- Imagine watching 3/4 of Titantic then the last quarter turning into Star Wars. Oh better yet imagine watching ET and then the last 15 minutes transitioning into Finding Nemo. Seriously. And eliminate about 85% of the dialogue in each film. It was the most aesthetically pleasing, yet haunting, yet dullest movie I have ever seen.
Then I watched Nashville- which really after watching I really just had to question why this was on the list. It was 2 hours long and I didn't realize until 1:45 minutes that I had no idea what the hell was going on. So I did a litlte research on IMDB, and apparently the first time you watch it its awful, and then the second or third time you end up falling in love with it. I'm sorry but I have to suffer through 2 hours of a movie, not understand or enjoy any minute of it, and then force myself to do it one or two more times so I can then enjoy it? Not happening.
Duck Soup and A Night at the Opera-not funny nor worth watching if you are under the age of 60 or over the age of 7.
Blade Runner-a cheesy, bizarre 80s sci-fi movie. I didn't know you could combine cheesy 80s romance and science fiction. Why did every movie from the 80s involve the same techno music, big hair, and people dressing as though they were fairies or vampires.
Sophie's Choice and Schindler's List-the holocaust was sad and we should all be traumatized.
The Deer Hunter-I now understand why people who fought in the Vietnam war are mentally ill. I think I'm now mentally ill after watching this.
Rocky-you've seen one boxing movie you've seen them all. They all seem to win Oscars though.
Midnight Cowboy-I feel like I should have been more emotionally invested, I feel like I should have cried at the end, I feel like I should have been weirded out, but really I think my tolerance for my mind being blown is at an all-time high.
The Apartment-apparently in 1960, you could have a job as an elevator girl. I don't get it? You just have to push a button.
Do the Right Thing-I want pizza
Spartacus-you've seen one ancient Greek war film, you've seen them all.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?-I am. And I'm afraid of professors and marriage at the age of 50.
Bonnie and Clyde-not as fabulous of a couple as I thought. Thank god I don't live in the mid-west. But I guess a significant portion of the population actually does live there.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest-whenever you think that you or the world is going crazy, just watch this movie and you'll feel normal again.
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington-well I guess after 50 years nothing in politics has changed.
Gone with the Wind-I guess there were actually 2 sides of the Civil War, who knew?
So now I can finally join the rest of society and again watch movies that are relevant to pop culture or at least have the ability to be mentioned casually in a dinner conversation.
Fabulous tip for today: Start a new project with an open mind.
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